My red pencils
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2005-03-21 23:45:21 (UTC)

Putting on the act

First pill taken twenty minutes ago. Will it help me?
Honestly I don't think so. I've been on anti-depressiva
before, actually two years ago if I'm going to be correct.
They didn't worked for me back then so why should they now.
Besides, they wont have any effect on me in two months. I
don't need to feel better in two months, I need to feel
better now. I don't know what will happen if I don't.

Second pill taken ten minutes ago. Sleepingpill. Soon I'm
going to feel tired and then I might get some sleep tonight.
Maybe I will sleep until tomorrow.

Feeling like a crazy one now. Maybe I am. Taking pills and
being an actor all day. Acting like everything is okay
infront of everyone I stumble into through a day. All the
things you have to do even though you scream on the inside
that you don't want to. Smile, laugh. Talk like you're
interested in the subject, when everything you want is to go
home, shut the door, turn of the lights and just be there.

Putting on the act. Oh yeah.

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