BANKY EDWARDS

BANKY EDWARDS
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Ezoic
2005-03-21 20:08:19 (UTC)

QUESTIONING MY LIFE

"I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors
But I think that God has a sick sense of humor
And when I die, I expect to find him laughing."
- Dave Gohan (of Depeche Mode),
"Blasphemous Rumors" (From the album Some Great Reward)

I've been working extremely hard these last few days.
I've been working so hard getting this house in order for
the move, I hade to look up Friday's journal entry to
remember that this is just the start of my Spring Break.
Anyway, there's something that's been on my mind while I've
been working, and that's this: how is it that the people who
don't even know me are relatively the ones that support my
acting? Honestly, there is nobody in my immediate family
that backs me on the decisons. Hell, they don't even care
that I can act, nor care why I want to. My sister, she's
clueless. My Dad, he's a self-centered prick- and that's
really surprising, since supposedly he use to be this great
big singer in Vegas that everybody loved (I'm doubting it
ever happened. though: I think he's just covering up the
fact that he used to be a drunk, because that's all I
remember him as from when I was little). And my mom, well, I
don't think she understands why I haven't given up on acting
yet (and I don't blame her for it, I forgive her, but NOT
the others). I look at them, and than I look at people like
my Dentist (who I saw on Saturday), who wanted to know
everything about how acting is going for me the minute I
stepped into the office (she was genuinely interested in me,
I could tll from the tone of her voice). THAT was fun. I
mean, not that I want my life to be all picture perfect and
happy-go lucky all the time, like on show's like fuckin'
"Leave it to Beaver" or "Little House on the Prarie" (if my
life was like that, I think I might seriously kill myself),
but showing some form of interest isn't a crime, is it?


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