Jenny's Journal
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2005-03-20 07:57:22 (UTC)

Not the one- dang!

Looks like this fella might not be the right man for
me after all. It was going well until we started to
have long phone calls. I thought he had been so
reserved and restrained in person because he was
nervous and shy.

During our phone conversations I would ask him
questions that were open ended. He couldn't give me an
answer or opinion becuse he didn't have an exact
specific scenario from which to form one. There have been
these long silences where I have had to carry the
conversation since waiting for him to say something
wasn't working.

I'm one of those people that are quick witted and can
communicate easily with almost anyone at the drop of a
hat without really trying hard to find something to
say. That's the same trait that I really need in any
man that I plan to build a future with. I can't stand
slow thinkers. It's one thing to be thoughtful and
think before you speak, it's another to be so reserved as
to make conversation awkward.

I feel like I am "pulling" him through the entire
conversation, hardly the quick quipped back and forth
banter I was hoping for. That might sound like a minor
"flaw", but for someone like myself, it's the kind of
persistent flaw that quickly becomes increasingly

It's such a shame this fella's got to be such a "blank
stare" with so little on his mind. Seems he only
flirts online, too. When I try to flirt with him on
the phone he dims down even more, giving me dead air
on the line instead of returning in kind or turning it
up a notch. Oh well. Easy come, easy go I guess.

Dut - dut - dut, another one bites the dust! lol

I think the universe played a joke on me. I had asked
the powers that be to bring the man I was meant to be
with forever, the man I was born to love and be loved
by for all time. They delivered this fella instead.
There must have been a mix up upstairs or something. :)
Somewhere out there MY man is thinking the same thing
as he reevaluates the dim wit he has found himself with.

So now I have to go and let him down after having gotten
his hopes up. I hate that part. Sometimes it gets really
difficult when they don't understand what they have done
wrong. Nothing makes a woman feel more guilty than hurting
a good man. And he is a good man, just not for me.

So I'm back on the "meat march" again lol. That has
got to be one of the quickest "flash in the pan" I've
ever had!