Breoko

I Don't Know
2005-03-20 06:25:04 (UTC)

The Typical First Post

Oh boy, here I go again, starting a journal I probably
won't keep up, but oh well. I really suck at these things,
but some people seem to think something like this would do
me good, so I've decided to try again.

Anyways, hello. Yeah yeah, so I just said hello to no one
out there and an on-line diary. Bite me. Speaking of which
though, this on-line place, I kinda like it. I just found
it and signed up for it maybe just after ten minutes of
looking over it. Pretty cool, since I rarely sign up for
anything quickly. But I like how it looks. Plain and black.
Very cool. No pics, no different fonts, no one standing out
from anyone else. Just writing. Very cool. That, and I
really just wanted a place that wasn't very popular. At my
school, the new trend is Xanga? I think? Everyone who is
anyone has one. *rolls eyes* Problem with that was I had
been wanting an on-line journal for a while, but didn't
want anything people at school could find so easily, or
really, I just didn't want to fit in with anyone there. I'm
an outcast in my school, and I'd like to keep it that way.

Now then, should I begin with: the angst, a little history,
or just go with what is happening now? Hmm.. Oh, I know,
I'll explain the title of my journal. The "Enter a Cool
Title Here" part shows my lack of creativity, and the "or I
Don't Know" part shows my most used answer to everything,
because in all reality, I know so very little... Though, I
may just eventually shorten it to "I Don't Know" because
that would show my laziness. Cause I'm a bum, just like my
family says.

Ok then, now what? You know, I think I'll skip to just what
has been going on lately. This week has been my "wonderful"
spring break. Ha. *note the dripping sarcasm off the walls*
I've been stuck at home this whole freakin' time. Now,
since you don't know me, and have no earlier posts to be
backed up on, you may wonder what is so bad with being at
home. Well, allow me to explain. I've been stuck in the
same house with the number one person I can't stand: my
mother. She's the type of person that comes into your room
every early morning to wake you up with no other reason
then to just do it. That, and she never, ever knocks.
She'll usually come up with some great reason to bug me
early in the morning. One morning, she came in and started
vacuming, another she came in to clean my bathroom, which
was already clean, another to come in and gossip. Oh god,
the gossip. She never stops. I myself am not a gossiping
person. I don't care what other people are doing, as long
as it isn't anything that hurts me. So, Mr. So-in-So is
cheating on his wife mom? That's great... Miss Blah-n-Blah
said this about her sister's friend's cousin's aunt? Wow...
Thanks for telling me cause I just absolutely needed to
know that... Really... But then, it isn't just my mother,
it is also most of her side of the family that has this
gossip problem. They go on and on about the town gossip,
then turn to me and ask what I have to offer. In return, I
give them my perfected family renowned "I don't know." Then
I get the whole, "You don't anything that is going on! You
need to grow up and start paying attention to your
surroundings! Come back to reality and stop playing all
those games! Get a real life you bum!" Oh yeah, cause I
really want to pay all my attention to meaningless
information that could only be interesting in the sad
little town I'm stuck in.

Ok, so now you kinda have a clue that I hate my mom and
live in a really sad town with all my other family members
on my mother's side. Of course, there is plenty, plenty
more to write on about, but I'll save that for later. Now I
just want to write about what is coming up. I will be
driving back to a different hell tomorrow. Here at home, I
have an insane mother to deal with, a dirty house, no
heating in my room, and total bordom. Pretty much all I've
done is nothing, which is ok, in very small amounts for
normal people. However, since I grew up in this town and
family, I am very used to not doing anything and letting my
brain melt away. This is bad, very bad. I'll explain more
on this later. Back to the supposed main idea, comparing
home to school. At school, I get to be the outcast that no
one notices is an outcast. Sound strange? Well then, think
of it like this. I'm going to a very strict Baptist school.
Problem is, I'm not Baptist, or Christian at all. Yeah, I'm
sure I've popped out two of the three people's bubbles that
just happened to stumble across my journal. So screw you.
You judge me and I'll do it right back. Otherwise, I have
no problems with any people, so long as they don't shove
crap down my throat. So anyways, everyone at this school of
course, being the closed minded people that they are, all
automatically suppose that I'm one of them. And when they
do happen to find out, I get none other but the
famous "You're going to hell" line. I'm used to it, as my
mother has told me the same thing many times in my life,
but somedays I do really get tired of it. Of course,
whether they know or not, being the narrow minded people
they are, they indirectly tell me I'm going to hell in just
about any conversation I have with them while they rant
about the evils of the world and the horrible people they
must share Earth with. You know, all the other people on
Earth but them. Ha... So while I do have a few friends,
they don't know what or who I really am, and so I lead
nothing but a fake life at school. Well, at least I have
heating in my room... Sometimes, when the stupid computer
run system feels nice. Curse you technology in charge of
our room temps. Ugh, but I have so much homework to do when
I get back. That is, if I live past the trial of bringing
back all my junk up the third floor to my room. And no,
there is no elevator in my dorm. Lucky me. I'll of course
hurt myself like I always do and be cranky for a week, but
no one will probably notice because I'm always a bit cranky.

Well now, I've written quite a bit and feel rather proud of
myself. Maybe this will help jump start my writing again so
I can finish the British Lit. paper I really need to do. I
still can't believe I put that off for a whole week. That
and a very big Social Psy. project. Ugh... So much for
getting anything done, but then, I'm a lazy, good for
nothingm sad excuse for a human, and I'll be damned if I
didn't get that drilled into your head by the time you
finished reading this!


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