justme

my own corner of the world
2005-03-19 04:29:38 (UTC)

Typical winter depression

I bought the Matchbook Romance CD Stories and Alibis while
I was in Chicago, and now that I've gotten a chance to
listen to it, I've decided that I love it. It's kind of a
lot like Taking Back Sunday, which is definitely a good
thing.
I'M SICK OF THE SNOW!!!!!!!! It's been snowing really
really hard all day long today, and it's supposed to keep
it up all through tomorrow too. I've come to the point
where I'm finally sick of winter, I just want the spring
to come and for it to get warm again. I'm sick of
everything that comes with the winter. Winter brings on a
whole lot of sleepiness and general disconnectedness just
because it's constantly cold outside, and for all but
about a cumulative 7 days, the sun is covered by gray
clouds that last as far as the eye can see. I just want
it to end. Winter also brings with it weight gain, since
I can't really go outside and do anything to get rid of
it, and I just fall into this rut of doing the same thing
over and over again, and I'm so entirely fed-up with it.
But anyway... because of all this snow we got, there's not
going to be district forensics tomorrow, it's now going to
be on Wednesday, so I'm going to miss another day of
school for something like that.... Not that that's
necessarily a bad thing....
I'm starting to get really excited about solo & ensemble.
Not because of the whole performance part of it, because
I"m not really sure how well that's going to go, but
because I'm going to get to hang out with Jared for a
while. He really does mean a lot to me. He's pretty much
the only reason I go on messenger anymore, just to see if
he's on and I'm going to get to talk to him. He wasn't on
tonight though.... so I'm kind of disappointed about
that... but I'll probably get to talk to him one of these
days coming up so..... I'll be happy about that again. I
really feel like drawing something lately. I should do
that, but for some reason I just don't. It's really weird
and kind of silly that I feel like I want to do something
and I just don't do it. It's not like I don't have the
time... I don't know... I think it's that sometimes I just
don't feel like getting into that headspace I go into when
I draw. See, when I draw, I completely lose track of
everything around me, and I become a meticulous
perfectionist, and sometimes I start to annoy myself when
I can't get a line right or shading right or something...
and I just don't feel like criticizing myself right now.
It's kind of stupid I guess.....
Not much else happening I guess....
From Matchbook Romance: "Lie to me. Give me something
worth living for, tell me a reason worth fighting for.
Give me anything, anything to keep me breathing."




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