Dissatisfied

If Only....
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2005-03-17 13:21:17 (UTC)

"God takes care of himself, and you of you"

THURSDAY, 7:57AM

Okay, this time is accurate. Needless to say I have
slacked up with my diary entries and have failed to enter
my consumption chart the past few days. I had scribbled
some things in a handwritten journal and I am sure I could
probably retrace most of what I had eaten through mental
notes- but All that matters is I ATE A LOT.
Yes, I haven't exercised since probably Saturday, I got
high a lot- ate a lot- and most of the food was things I
probably shouldn't have ate. But I had fun. Yes, I know! I
need to get back in the routine I was in because I got out
of it while Lindsey was here. She left this morning. We
woke up at 4AM and I drove her to Tampa Airport and cme
back home in the rain, but it was worth it for her to stay
an extra night. I had an awful GOOD time with her, but
ofcourse because she is my best friend. We layed out
yesterday and now have sunburns on our backs and behinds.
I need to even it out in the next couple of days when the
sun decides to come out and play again. To sum it up- We
went to Siesta Key, had a great time. We went to Turtle
Beach at night- drank/smoked- had a great time and went
home. Tyler got sick. I better not get sick. Alex was in
pain and constipated yesterday so I am going to get him on
a diet that has easier to digest foods in the plan. i
already have a list taken down in my astrology book
because I too have problems with digestion so I know the
feeling. I dyed Lindsey's hair auburn. I have a floral
appointment at 1PM today. I must clean this house and do
clothes and the dishes! I have slacked up majorly but all
is well because Lindsey was in town and it was worth it to
get away with things for a while. Let me jot this down
before I forget...

Consumption of:
* French vanilla cappuccino-about 16oz.

Yes- that coffee made me shit. And I think I am not
finished :)

The clouds are grey as all hell today and I am hoping I
can catch a few dozes when I get home from the floral
place otherwise I am going to be dragging by the time
Tyler gets home from work.
I had an awesome time at my counselor session. We talked a
lot about my past drug addiction and I think she was
fascinated by the fact that I am intelligent and was able
to describe my experience rather well. Maybe she knew
because she used to have a coke problem herself. But I can
honestly say- because I liked them both... Meth is totally
different. Not to mention was my preference. My drug of
choice. Well, I told her about my journals and some of the
people I have met on here...Like KinkyKitten. And well, It
was interesting talk. I couldn't help but talk about
Krystal. I couldn't help but mention Victoria. A girl I
bonded with for a few days- turned her into a meth addict
for her to move right across the hall from a meth dealer.
Tyler and I had poor judgment- but she was into it before
we did it with her. I think our addiction was contagious.
It rubbed off on her and she dug herself deep into it. I
dont even know what she is doing now with her life- And I
will never find out. She never meant anything like what
Krystal meant to me. But No one means anything like what
Lindsey means to me. I guess there are a lot more things
to learn about myself than I imagine or let on. And each
day I find out one more thing about myself that surprises
me- If I take notice to it. But every day- I change, I
grow, I experience, I live...and everyday- the world does
too. I have a lot on my mind and I think as of now- I am
going to title this and go outside to have a smoke. Then I
will more than likely get back on and waste more time
because let's just face it- It is truth. Undeniable. See
ya in a few....


Well, All's not well but I am told
that it'll all be quite nice....

We'll be drowning in boots like Mafia but our feet'll
still float like christ and I'll be damned- They were
right..... I am drowning upside down....


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