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2005-03-14 16:06:30 (UTC)

I Hate Mondays

I did not want to get up this morning. I'll be so glad when
I don't have to get up so early anymore. My weekend was
pretty good. I got to do some shopping for maternity
clothes. I had to order my pants because nobody had short
length jeans. I got a few tops too. My husband stayed in a
good mood most of the weekend. Sometimes he got quiet but
he never seemed to be depressed. I think this medicine will
be the one that works for him. We finally told my parents
about the baby. They seemed happy about it. I think my mom
is worried though because she knows that he is not
completely stable yet. He told them about his depression.
He said for a brief period of time he thought that the
marriage was causing the depression. He needed time to
think and he came to the realization that his problem is
not being caused by the marriage. He said he loves me to
death and it was stupid on his part for thinking that he
didn't. He said he isn't sure whats causing the depression
but he wants them to know that they don't have to worry
about us. My mom said that all she had to say is that it
wasn't fair to me on how he was treating me. He told her
that she's right and he is sorry for any pain he has cause
me and that it won't happen again. I hope he means every
word he says. It meant alot to me that he talked to my
parents. I know he didn't want to do that but it helps
everyone to move on. I told him how much I appreciated what
he did. He act like he didn't wanted to talk about it so I
let it drop. Atleast he knows how I felt about it. Saturday
night we made love. After we were done I noticed I was
bleeding. It scared me at first but it let up through the
next day. I took a bath sunday night and I passed a blood
clot the size of a quarter. It was black looking. I decided
to look at it to see if I could see anything. After that I
had real light brown discharge. I already called the doctor
about it. She said something about my cervix being easy to
damage during pregnancy. She doesn't think I have anything
to worry about, especially since I didn't start bleeding
til after sex. She said not to have sex until I get to see
the doctor thursday. She said to make sure I tell him
exactly what happened. He should be able to tell me what I
can and cannot do as far as the bedroom goes. We told our
daughter about the baby. At first she seemed like she was
mad, but later she was asking all kinds of questions about
it. I told her she would get to be a big sister and that
mommy would need her help. She wanted to know what she
could do. I told her she could help me give it a bath,
maybe feed it, hold it, play with it. She said something
about changing it's diapers. I told her she didn't have to
do that but she could help me by getting me a diaper or
handing me the oinment. She drew a picture this weekend of
me with a big belly. It was so cute. I hope everything
turns out ok with her and the baby. I worry about how
she'll react once it's here. Lord thank You for such a good
weekend. Please let this be the beginning of all the good
things to come. Please watch over everyone I love. Let them
be healthy and happy, especially my husband and daughter.
Thank You again. Amen.