Kalamity K

The Daily Chaos of Kalamity K
2005-03-14 00:17:59 (UTC)

Sunday - NCAA Brackets

Lasgair, mo croidhe,

Duke won, barely, again. I'm getting worried. ACC
Champs, though, which got them a number 1 seed. There
should have been 3 number 1s coming out of the ACC but
they shafted Wake Forest. By all rights, WF should have
got it over Duke, but being ACC Champ and a bit of a
bigger name, well...I'm not complaining but I do hold a
soft spot for Wake, go figure, and it would have been nice
to see them take a number 1 spot, too. The Tar Heels, on
the other hand, can bite me. I hope they lose in the
first round to whomever they face. I can't remember. I
don't care about them. AT ALL. [-makes an annoyed face-
] Of course, it does the most for me when Duke beats NC,
so perhaps I'll save it until then, though I'm not sure
that that could happen (trying to see the brackets in my
head but I'm fuzzy from sleep still, sorry).

J.J. Redick is a great player - something like 186 for 197
on free throws for the year, too, and a great three point
shooter but lately he's been bugging me. J.J., stop
shooting every shot there is. My boyfriend said, "I don't
think J.J.'s met a shot he doesn't like." I hate to agree
with him on sports, but well, he was right. A blown call
by the officials at the end of the game (phantom foul on
Duke, when really J.J. Redick had his hands all tangled up
in a GT jersey, possibly Jarrett Jack's) gave Duke a
couple of extra (at least one, anyway) points on the free
throw line - had that call been non-existant or against
the right team, the outcome could easily have seen Duke
losing by a few points instead of winning by a few. With
34 seconds left, the phone rang. My boyfriend made an
irritated noise. I didn't even move. "I'm not answering
it," I said. That solved that - there's no way he'd
answer it, though the last few months he has actually
found it within himself to answer the phone if I don't do
it. [-feels suddenly, overwhelmingly angry and ready to
claw at something viciously-] Anyway. It was someone
from the Symphony group. It'll wait.

I have to get off my fat ass now and go to the grocery
store. I said I wasn't going to come back to the computer
today but I'm a big liar and also pathetic. I missed him
again, b/c I was watching the basketball game and decided
to watch instead of hang around like an ever hopeful
little puppy dog. With his kids around, I figured there
was no chance of seeing him today. Well done, K2, you
screwed up again (not really, but you know how sometimes
it feels that way without being true? Yeah.). This is
not nearly proportions of last night - which made me cry
upon rereading, stupid weak bitch - just a general
angriness at myself that I've lived with for so long it's
better than second nature.

Am supposed to watch Deadwood tonight with my boyfriend
but have already sort of begged out of it. We'll see.
Perhaps I'll not be a rude bitch and will find an hour to
spend with him later. I wanted to write, since I long ago
let this day get away from me, acting like the sloth that
I truly am (depression now setting in), eating and
drinking crap all day, doing nothing around the house,
nothing at the gym, nothing nothing nothing, (it's killing
me, this sentence, with the improper punctuation and
everything but I am trying...to...let...it...GO!!!)...I
thought I could at least try to write except that I am so
uninspired it's not even close to funny. In fact, it's
depressing as hell, too.

God I feel physically disgusting.

Mentally not doing much better, either.

This goddamn journal is also helping me not to write, now
that I have somewhere else to redirect the turbulence
inside. Moron!!! [-sigh-]

Oh. I saw the Mail Room Guy (MRG) on tv today. He does
commercials and some acting and stuff and he told me about
one commercial and I only just saw it (had seen it when I
didn't know it was him) since he told me about it a while
ago. It's for Frank's Lime Hot Sauce and it's really very
funny. My boyfriend watches and I said, "Hey, that's
xxx!!!" And he goes, "You only just saw it now?" (I told
him about it weeks ago. He forgets I don't watch tv save
for the programmes I watch with him and the commercial
doesn't run on those channels...and he tries to tell me he
doesn't watch tv either but...yeah right.) Weird, I'm the
girl who used to watch the news compulsively, five times a
day, and now, nothing. I feel completely stupid and
ignorant. It doesn't help much in my life but I can't
stand watching tv any more, not the news, nothing, I can't
stand the bullshit associated with any of even the very
best companies and shows. [-depression settles in further-
] But anyway. Back to the commercial. He's watching
and he goes, "That guy's FAT!" I was like, fuck off.
Honestly. That's a very nice thing to say. I can only
imagine what Mr. Svelte himself [-insert facetious tone
here-] says about me when I'm not here. This coming from
the guy who doesn't mind sitting around lounging on the
couch with his stomach hanging out of his shirt. It
drives me nuts but I haven't said anything b/c how picky
is that? Just makes me feel like I live in a trailer park
somehow - though the interior conditions of my place would
attest well to that so perhaps it's time I stop pretending
and own up to it. You can take the girl out of the
trailer park but not the trailer park out of the girl...

Time for me to go and wade through the garbage in this
room to get out of here and get to the grocery store b/c
if we don't pick up bread tonight the world will most
assuredly end.

Also clothes stain remover. He is planning on doing big
laundry tomorrow. As usual, the day after I need my
laundry done. He's offered to do mine (he knows I need my
clothes for Monday then make a big fuss when I always turn
down his offer, sort of...). So, I'm going to do a bit my
hand tonight for tomorrow and leave out the clothes I need
washed. Because you know what? He's made this offer
before and the last three times, he hasn't done any wash.
I don't even know the last time he washed his clothes
unless he stuck them in with my stuff. I don't even want
to think about the last time we washed the sheets or his
pyjamas (the tshirt of which used to belong to me but he
can have it now, ergh). So, that's my plan. If I get
home tomorrow and nothing is done there will be hell to
pay - but unfortunately, only on myself for believing that
something might get done.

Fuck I'm pissed off and depressed and stupid. I have to
go. The bread, man, the bread can't wait. [-wants to cry
as she gets up to go-]

More later.



P.S.: My entry from yesterday kind of stole my steam and
thunder from something nice I was planning on writing on
certain subjects. DAMN IT! :(