midnight

lost thoughts
2005-03-13 03:07:09 (UTC)

to maggie

ok never again! me and amanda were on the trampaleen. ok so
misspelled. ok the bouncy thing. and we were wrestling each
other kinda. owwwww. andrew kicks me in the stomach and
william kicked me in the back at the same time. i am so
flippin sore right now. yeah anyway, poor manda got
squished. peoples know what i mean. lol. yeah, im so
flippin tired right now. ok people need to get their ass
online. no one is on and its boring. lol. my luck. anyway,
i need to get to bed sometime soon. or im not going with
manda to church. im serious to. and yes i enjoyed the
coffee house thing to an extent. ok, maggie, i understand i
need god. yes i realize that. but im not sure if i want to
open that door. you cant bring me to god. ok? i know god
didnt give up on me. I GAVE UP on god. i know he wasnt
giving up and that he was there. i just felt really traped
by everything. i know i failed to see what was really going
on. i didnt see or hear or even try to through the
darkness. i know i made a mistake. half of me does want god
but the other half says hell no. you cant bring me to god
you can only show me the way. and youve done that many
times. ive been thinking of what you said in you diary
entry. maggie right now im not opening that door. its
bolted shut. but i have unlocked the door handle though.
lol. i know he cant open the door and thats exactly why its
my descission. i still cant spell. lol. your not preaching
to anyone. youre being a good friend. thanks for being
there. but i have to decide on that subject. im just not
there yet. ok? give me time. im at least going to church
for now. ok? remember you can show anyone the way. but they
have to decide to follow it or not. thanks for not giving
up on me. lol. send me feedback when you read this. lol.
yeah, i see ya all tomorrows. BOOGER BOOTYS!!!! HEHEHE.

*JEN*

"people who genually care will tell you the truth even when
you dont want to hear it."
-unknown




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