lindsay ann

somewhere in between
2005-03-12 01:28:08 (UTC)

the irony

this year is irony. i have taken risks. i have stayed in my shell. i have done
everything i wanted to do, but i feel like i'm just getting started.

is it just me or is this school year almost over? it's not just me. may 5 is
coming pretty soon.

then i will be back in camarillo. with my family. some friends. some things
that won't be fixed. some new and exciting things that are still to come.

what do i want for next year? i want the same things. i want trying hard in
school, i want good relationships at school, i want Bible study, i want taking
care of myself, i want santa barbara. but is it wrong to want more? i want to
stop sinning altogether, i want to hang out with homeless people, i want to
write more, i want to pray wiithout ceasing, i want to surf, i want to play the
guitar.

my parents always tell me they're proud of me. but couldn't i be so much
better? i'm not depressed, i'm just contemplative. shouldn't i be better?

if you read this, you're probably nodding your head vigorously. i know. i'm
sorry.