Dissatisfied

If Only....
2005-03-11 18:16:47 (UTC)

The place and the time where you knew everything would go wrong...

FRIDAY, 12:01 PM

Mood: a little flustered
***Let me go ahead and catch up last night***
LAST NIGHT:
Consumption of:
* 2 Glasses of iced tea
* 1/2 soft burrito- with taco flavored
beef/beans/cheese/sour cream/avacodo
* chicken tortilla soup -courtesy of Brenda- veggies and
such...

TODAY:
* 1 glass of ice water
* few sips of sprite
* grilled chicken ceasar salad from Burger King: Good :)

Feelings: Well, I didn't exercise yet today but I am
determined to get my ass out of here and run or check out
the gym. My left calf muscle is really sore and I have
been complaining about it for the 2nd day now. Today I
didn't get to exercise because I had to take Kerstin to
school and I was supposed to take Tyler to the DMV but He
needs a birth certificate before he can get his
license...So I woke up early and didnt exercise. Also- he
showed some concern today- the least way I can put it -
about my taking suvaril. I understand his concern but the
thing is it isn't speed- it isn't meth- it isn't
ephedrine. I am ALL NATURAL anyways and I mean, C'MON!!! I
use Tom's toothpaste, Tea Tree deodorant, Lavendar face
wash, Oatmeal and almond body bars, Even Burt's Beeswax
lip moisturizer... So, i made sure that Suvaril wasn't
something horrible and it isn't like I plan on taking it
forever. I did get kind of offended because even though I
know myself how ridiculous my self criticism and
insecurities are- I don't need the man I love telling me
the same thing because all that does is make me feel like
I am DUMB! I am not a stupid person...I am a female and
this is usually the territory given to most girls at young
ages when they aren't pleased with their bodies as they
mature. It is perfectly normal! But How can I explain that
to a guy- My guy- The one who can do 50 push-ups and 50
sit-ups and be completely envious of his own body? I mean,
I can work out like I am and eat as picky as I am for 6
months and still not be satisfied with my appearance.
Anyways, Life is a bitch and So Am I.
I wonder if anyone else has said that before??? It doesn't
spark me as something that would be original, but It just
came out of my mouth.
*****LINDSEY IS COMING IN TODAY****************************
I am so happy I get to see my best friend. I also have
other things to take care of today, but no matter what I
have to exercise for an HOUR today!!!!! I can't get out of
routine or I will never find the motivation to start up
again. To anyone who reads this: Have a wonderful day :)
I will check back later


Talk about the future in the
past tense...


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