ruby tuesday

pseudo whimical wild child riot grrl
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2005-03-11 17:42:54 (UTC)

appitzers

i know i spelled that wrong, but you know what? i don't
care because i hate when people are little english teachers
and want to correct everything...my sister is like
that...she is family so i have to put up with it, but with
other people? nope...thats definatly annoying. then you
have the people who mizpel evrthin...but THAT is irritating
because they don't mispell because they don't really care,
they do it to sound cool or somthing...i guess i'm just not
cool because i just don't get it. alright if anyone in the
web is actually reading what mindless crap that i type,
then i first feel sorry for you because you will probably
leave here a little confused and pissed off for wasting
time to read my dribble...but thats ok...i'm fucked up and
type whatever i want. i am a random and weird person...most
of the time. actually i am quite screwed up because i am
genetically messed up...i completely blame my parental
units tho. on my dad's side, they have all struggled with
depression and bi polarism...scary right? yeah. here's the
story...it started very early in life...this is about me
alright? anyways, they say i'm genetically programmed to
carry traits of depression and bi polar disorder in my
genes, that sounds like a load of crap to me but this is ow
it goes...the last week of december 2004 i picked up this
book wasteland be francesca lia block...it was the worst
thing i have ever done really. i read the book in a
day...you know how some characters in books or movies, if
they were real, you would fall in love with them?...yes?
no? maybe so? well maybe i'm a freak then, but that happens
to me...anyways i "fell in love" with this character
lex...he would be someone who would be perfect if he were
real...i guess you fall in love with the idea of him or
something...anyways in the book he ends up killing
himself...it has a terrible ending...i mean i was seriously
crushed...i know that sounds weird, but i am trying to be
honest. i actually got like depressed because then you
realize that no person is ever really going to be as
romantic or intellectual or creative or anything like
that...that its fiction...this usually make you all the
more depressed when you're pulled out of this dream land
that you've wandered into. lex in the book had said that
pain can actually make you wither see things clearly, or
can blind you...for me it made me see very clearly...my
life in fucking suburbia and having to live other's lives
was how my life was going to be...continued later...


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