BBVC

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2005-03-09 16:23:37 (UTC)

Grrrrrrrrrr

i cant belive it,this morning jesse left me to go take a
few hits, even after knowing how i feel about that and
during school. im so pissed at him but when he asked if i
was mad at him i said no, i didnt want to make a big deal
of it, he knows my thoughts on it.the thing that pisses me
off the most i think is it was during school.i dont know
what to do about him. we ve only been dating for a little
while, and he goes a tells me he loves me, i just dont
understand way he can say he loves me so soon if thats not
just some goal he wants to reach with me.i just wish that
i didnt have to deal with it right now i ve got so much
more to stress out about, like this weekend is state, i
cant wait butstill its stressing me out and with robbert
and jess fighting at practice.i could just scream. all
week my mom and i have been at each others throut, i feel
like im screamimg and now one can hear me,. i had the same
night mare that i had at least 2 time a week, last night.
and i had not been able to sleep at all.this dream is so
huntingthat thinking of it scares me.sometimes i wish that
i could just go to another country and start a hole new
life.im so deppressed latly, well not just latly, i dont
now, all i know is ive forgot what it feels like to be
happy.lance e-mailed me again after all that we have went
through all the fighting and he still doesnt listen, he
says he still loves me, i cant belive him. i wish he would
just leave me alone and let me be on my way.i hate ex'es.


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