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2005-03-09 15:17:48 (UTC)

Down and Up

Yesterday started to be bad and it ended up being good. My
husband started on his new medicine. I think this one might
work. He told me that he felt like he was stoned. I told
him that feeling would probably subside some with time. His
muscle were weak too. Hopefully all the side affects will
get better with time. He seemed in a good mood. I ended up
talking to him about what I wrote yesterday. The only thing
he kept saying is that all that's over and it's not going
to happen again. He thinks there is a difference between
his friendships with women online and my friendships with
men at work. Basically because I'm face to face with them
that means I shouldn't have things to do with them outside
of work. I feel that if I want to be in a group of people
from work, guys and girls, that it shouldn't be a big deal.
He also says that typing to people online is not talking to
them. I course I disagree. He's not typing anything
differently then he would if he was talking to them face to
face. I asked him if that susie bitch has tried to talk to
him, he says no. I told him that I didn't like him sending
her emails behind my back. He didn't tell me that he was
doing that and it's not fair since I can't get emails from
men. That lead back to what I said previously. He says
there's a difference. He tells that the feeling he had for
her were not real. That he has learned what's important. It
was a mistake. He says the game is fun again because he
isn't letting himself talk to people about his problems. He
gets on there to have fun. He says that he is not going to
let himself become so friendly with one person again.
Oh..,I almost forgot, he told me that she wanted to meet
him. She wanted to plan a day and a place to meet him. He
told me that he told her no. I asked him if he would lie to
me about anything, he says no. I asked him if he was hiding
anything from me, he says no. He says he don't want to get
into alot of details about what they discussed because all
it will do is hurt me. So I asked if they talked about
there feeling and doing anything about it. He says somewhat
like meeting, but as far as having a relationship right
away or a sexual encounter, he says no. So he repeats
himself that none of it matters. He loves me and want to be
with me. I said what if we hate each other for months or if
I gain alot of weight or lose my looks because I'm getting
old? He says that don't matter because he will stay with me
no matter what. God I hope that's true. Like I said before
this will be the last time he does this to me. I will not
be put through the worry and stress again. I just hope this
medicine works for him and he figures out what's wrong. I
will do almost anything for him. I just hope he realizes
this and puts his trust in me to be his wife and help in
anyway possible. Later on that night we made love and he
kept telling me he loved me. I felt loved and happiness the
rest of the evening. I hope I continue to feel this from
him. If would help me to move past all the shit we've went
through and focus on what's important. Thank You Lord for
another great day with my husband. Let this continue and be
the marriage I've always wanted. Let my daughter have a
good day at school and come home in a good mood. Let my
family have a good day together filled with love and
happiness. Amen.

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