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2005-03-09 07:46:16 (UTC)

it's me mum.

am's like 1:30 am and all i feel is confusion. i have
a paper to write but i just don't know what is wrong wiht
me. am so dis organised. i just threw away all tthat was me
since i came to school. i just have to reach back to that
me back home. the one that wasn't alone.the one that had a
froend. the on that always beieved. i feel so wmpty and
alone. without a plan, nothng. mum, you are the only one
tat knows me as i am. you knoe what this boy goes through,
you know me whrn i fall, you know the darkness in me. you
know the thoughts that run through me. you know what al all
about. mum please help me find myslf. i can be in school
and be different. the fact that i want to have fun doesn't
mean that i will throw awayall that i have worked hard to
build of myself. l feelso bad that i did those things that
i said that i would never do again. mum am soo sorry. i
messed up. please forgive me. am sorry mum. please helpme
mum. you are my gratest frind. and i messed up by leaving
your side and here iam a prodigal so pleadingto be taken
back. now i know that i cannot do anythng without you. what
was i thiking. hoe did i forget all the moments that we
shared. how did i forge all the tears we cried. how did i.
mum amm ready to to it the right way. am ready mum, please
take me back. i want to be by your side, i want to be ur
friend. i want you mum. am sorry for all my sins, all those
times that shuned your eyes while i swam in sin. am sorry
mum. am sorry. help me say my rosary frequently, i have
deceived mself enough dsaying that am busy, what can be
take me from you. ve really been a wayward son. i know am
the boy tht always sas sorry, always doing wrong but mum
please forgive me. frm this moment, iwant to live a new
life. it's a new me here at UCA. you promised to get me to
uca and you did. and from the depth of my heart i know that
i've not shown you how grateful i am. but mum am here now
for you. this is the new me. and from nowmum, it's us.
guide me, take me , use me. am all yours mum. you have
never let me down and i know that you wil never, even
though i let you down all the time. helpme hold on to our
principles. nothing feels bettet than the thought of you.
even if all is gone from me, i can still be happy that i've
got u. i love you mum, with every bit of my heart. and i
heard you mum, i heard you. thanks for giving me this new
chance, stay with me is all i can say. i love u. thank you
so much. you are the reason i go on. thank you mum. i love
you. together we will make a differnce as we always do. tak
care of all thiose that are dear to me. my dad, mum, ekene,
nna-nna, ada, chinenye, chuamaka. i miss them si much bt
mum, we'll work hard so that they will be proud of us. we
will, i ve got u. mum, also take care of all my freinds
back home, you know themall hahah(u knw why am smiling
hahah) take care of those girls!!!

am so happy that i got to talk to you. thanks of listnening
to me. it us from now on. i love u mum and i know that you
love me too. thank you.