tbqb12

my stupid mouth
2005-03-09 02:25:09 (UTC)

miss her more

something's missing. i know exactly what it is, but i
can't seem to find it.

and i'm listening to damien rice, which always makes me
sad.

sarah has been making me talk about myself a lot lately.
it's not that i never talk about myself, but she forces me
to talk about things i hate to confront. the difference
between her doing that and other people doing that is that
i feel okay saying it to her...most of the time. it's
actually hard not talking to her multiple times a day
while on break. i think we are a lot closer this semester
than last, which is funny because last semester wasn't
very long ago. but i feel like i am bothering her if i
call her. i talked to her last night for a little while.
in some ways, i hate telling her stuff that makes me
uncomfortable to talk about, but i'm glad she can get me
to do that without me hating her afterwards. she tells me
the stuff i need to hear, whether i want to or not. and
usually, i do not want to hear what she is telling me.
but i need to. i really need to. when i need
encouragement, i know who to go to. that sounds
conceited, i know, but she helps me out, honestly. gotta
love that girl.

i have exercised two days in a row. something must be
wrong with me. i told myself i would use the treadmill
and the other miscellaneous machines we have in the
basement every day this vacation. ok...so maybe just the
weekdays. i feel like i eat so much more at home than i
do at school. i blame that on the crappy cafeteria food.
there are so many more options at home...even if they
aren't all offered at once. i was watching this dumb show
on vh1 that involves listing the top 100 bodies in
hollywood. so sick, i know. but it did really make me
sick to see these people. after watching, i was
like, "that's it. i am committed to losing 15 pounds."
and then i go and eat crap. i hate sounding like the
stereotypical teenage girl, but the feelings are there. i
am seriously lacking in the self-control department. and
it would help if i weren't so lazy. exercise flopping
stinks.




Ad: