BELLEINNY

BELLEINNY
2005-03-08 21:48:30 (UTC)

I cannot beleive it

For the last 2 years I have been trying to get my life
in order and it finally dawned on me a few days ago that it
will not happen sitting my mother's couch. I finally got
what it takes to gain everyting back in my life and I have
been searching for it for a very long time.

Up until 2 years I would tell off anyone at a drop of
a hat, and not be afraid of what it would bring. I need to
get that back and staying here in this place I have been
in, it is virtually impossible. I miss the woman I used to
be, smiling, out spoken, a hopeless romantic etc. I miss
that part of my personality and I am going to fight to get
it back.

One way that I think will get it back is if I pack up
and get out of here. I need to get out of this house and
life. I need to leave it all behind. A few years ago I had
a dream to pack a bag throw it in the back of veichle, have
the radio blairing while I drive to god knows where to
start over. I need to get that back and I think if I dont I
am going to be very unhappy later in life.




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