CrimsonTears

Hollow Years
2005-03-08 01:35:32 (UTC)

night night

i should go to bed really hmmm
i've done all my homework but i dunno if im going to school
tomorrow the doctor told me not to but i might i dunno i
want to it's just i feel all weak and my throat is still
all funny and i still cant talk but that might have gone by
tomorrow.
i've stopped crying i think its because i've cried to much.
Simon didnt say one word to me today i don't know if that
made it worse or not because yesterday when he said 'i love
you' really upset me because i started thinking about
everyhting again. but when he doesnt talk to me i still
feel upset because i feel like he doesn't care even though
this is what is meant to be happening thats why he said
goodbye but i just cant take it :(. another thing im
thinking is i think he is over it now...
even though im not. he said the other night when i was
talking to him..'i wont find someone else and be happy
because i love you' but i doubt this. in a few days he'll
probably have some persons name on his msn name and ill cry
as usual :( i hope this doesnt happen i dont think i could
cope with anything else just yet.
no one is on msn but me why am i still on i dont know i
dont know what to do i want to go to bed but i cant sleep
the only way i can get to sleep is if i cry myself to sleep
and if i dont do this i just lie there thinking and i just
feel worse and worse as the night goes on...
the reason i don't believe him about what he said is
because ages ago when he finished me i was talking to him
and i said ' will you ever go out with me again' and he
said ' of course i still love you' i said ' even if its
after other people' he said 'yes but there wont be other
people because ill come to you when i want a realtionship
again because i love you' this did not happen...
i kind of want him to move on and find someone else though
because as i said i want him to be happy and maybe then he
will be. i wont be but i dont care life goes on. i hope if
he does move on though he doesn't just forget about me :(
anyway yeah i'm going on sorry bye

Song: Less than jake - Last time
Mood: rubbish


Ad:0