My Gay Misadventures
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2005-03-07 19:45:12 (UTC)




Another year has gone by. And im now 22 years old. I
remember logging when i first turned 20.... its been two yrs
since my life began. Man, Iv grown up so much. I remember
them all...Everyone iv been with. Everyone Iv broken.
--But first....

Saturday I went to this bar. A lesbian bar as i later found
out. and a GHETTO bar as i later later found out. I swear...
This place was a BYOB (bring your own beer) type place...
Fuck, they even served fried chicken with their fake ass
waitressess...They played a lot of gangster rap. so needless
to say i was a minority there. Had a drag show for most of
my stay, then strippers.....So...many...Boobies. What a
fuckin waste. PLUS i was sober for the majority of it. So
yea. Suckage. -- I was hit on though. By some drag queen
(funny, cuz while she was performing i cracked jokes on her.
..then bam. i get stuck wif it) I did give it my number,
useing eyeliner no less...Thank god for caller ID. But yea..
.I hated it. But that doesnt mean i wont go again.

Mat and Jesse are slowly makin their way back into my life.
Im not sure how to take this...Should i do the customary
thing and blow em both off? or fuck the quo and accept the
fact they are water under the bridge. Mat is in a deep deep
depression right now, and Jesse just wants my ass. So i may
just fling Jesse for a quickie and save Mat. Because as much
as i Hate to admit it. I still have this...bond with Mat.
Something...inside. Like i...I dunno. He's still part of me
somehow. So i have to help myself by helping him be happy

It was pouring rain all morning...heavy. -- I wonder why
baby jesus is still crying?...

I liked the begining of the day though. I was outside,
somewhere in some parking lot, surrounded by a thick fog,
walking to walmart. The smell. The damp air. The low
visablity. Everything about that night was perfect. I loved
it. Happy B-day Ric.

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