Kalamity K

The Daily Chaos of Kalamity K
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2005-03-07 17:34:20 (UTC)

1215 - At Work with Bajan the Cosmonaut...Duke and NC...and Why Can't I Stop Fucking Things Up?

Yeah well. That cosmonaut story is pretty good and funny -
except I'm really tired it won't come out good and funny.

the cool guy who works here - I've mentioned him in a few
entries now and again - came over to me and the file guy
this morning and was all chuffed to show us his new
purchase.

He found a cosmonaut helmet this weekend, downtown,
complete with the guy's name on the back: Бажан. I ran my
finger of it and read it out loud. He said, Yeah, that's
right... started a bit...then said, Hey, K2, you read
Cyrillic? I nodded. Yup, but don't ask me to translate a
sentence. I can read it but I rarely know what it means
any more. So I scored myself a few more brownie points
with that. Damn it sometimes I feel cool and interesting.
Most times I just feel stupid and boring. And tired. Like
right now.

Duke lost to fucking North Carolina State yesterday
afternoon. It's because I watched. They were trailing
then went up with 11 unanswered points near the end during
a particularly good run, then the tide turned again. NC
got fouled and sank the original shot. The subsequent free-
throw was made. Duke gets possession and misses a shot or
something stupid. There's a tie-up in the middle of the
court which would have resulted in a Duke ball on the
possession arrow but fucking NC State calls a time-out
before the tie-up got called so it's NC ball with not much
to go. They are either up by two or go and make a shot to
get up by two. Duke take the ball back down the court and
miss their third or fourth shot from the perimetre in a
row. A long two or a three, I don't know. The missed
baseline shots, too, and a couple of close-range trys. I
couldn't even stand it. NC State gets possession for the
time remaining, which was less than the shot clock - about
11 seconds or so - and just hung onto it. [-sighs-] It
sucked. The last time I watched them play on a weekend,
they did the same thing. Went on a good run, built up a
bit of a lead, then blew all their shots at the last couple
of minutes of the game and lost. I'm telling you. I was
about to climb the fucking walls. AND TO LOSE TO NC
STATE! I mean, I know they are ranked No. 2 and
everything, but Duke, at no. 6, isn't far off, and is only
number 6 b/c they've lost a couple of stupid games,
including 2 to Maryland, of all teams, a team that will be
on cusp come Sunday [Sunday being the selection date for
the tournament upcoming], or so say reports. I was so
fucking bummed.

MFS is talking to a girl that was fired from here a couple
of weeks ago. Whatever. She was fired for the dumbest of
fucking reasons. I mean really stupidly dumb fucking
reason. She was on secondment from another office in the
umbrella of offices under this branch, and they sent her
back. Her giant crime? They sent out a letter with a
client's name spelled incorrectly. The client called and
said, hey listen, you spelt my name incorrectly. On the
original, which had been faxed and was subsequently in the
file, and crossed out his name and made the change to the
spelling. That's what they fired her for, ostensibly,
anyway. Honest to god, what the hell is that? Stupid,
yes, to write on the original and not just put it on a
sticky or to make a copy or something, but not really
stupid. Something I know I might easily do. They didn't
like her already, and were looking for something, but they
said that they couldn't be sure that she didn't do that to
other files. The letter is signed by the lawyer, you can't
make changes to a letter over someone else's signature.
BUT IT'S NOT SOMETHING ONE GETS FIRED OVER. Not in my
estimation, anyway. Whatever.

Today is going to hell. I'm trying not to worry about a
lack of communication with someone. It was a bad night
between us last night for the stupidest of reasons and for
the dumbest fucking things I did, but this morning we did
send an e-mail each, which was reassuring, despite the
angry, frustrated tones in each of them, more directed at
the universe, I think, than really and truly at each
other. I don't know. I know from my end I'm furious at
myself, not the other person...He might well be mad at me,
yes, but I think he's globally mad, too, though he has a
right to be mad at me, whereas I don't really have anything
to be mad at him about over this. It was me, and I realise
that. He had to go out somewhere this morning but that was
an hour and a half ago, and it was only for short, or so he
said earlier when we weren't fighting. I think he's just
busy. I'm putting it out of my head. I will not worry. I
can't. I'm beaten up by myself enough as it is. If I
worried...I'd turn into a giant wreck and I'm already on
the edge of that as it stands.

I have to get some work done. I hate this fucking job and
I'm sick of so many things it isn't funny. I'm feeling
like hell and thanks to me, I know there is at least one
other person feeling the same way today. Way to go,
loser. Way to fucking go.

More later, perhaps, if I can stomach my little life's
pathetic rants and raves and bullshit complaints, excuses
and inactions...

K2


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