loulou1437

Wendy's Thoughts
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2005-03-07 04:51:10 (UTC)

03.06.05

Dear Diary,

This is the first time I have ever done this online.
This weekend has been terrible. But I'll just go into today.
Well, for starters. This morning...about 2 am, I talked to
Bryan online. It was so weird. We actually talked. I loved
every minute of it...but of course it only left me wanting
more. I was ok after it first happened...left me with a
peace that things will be ok by just being his friend. But
then later on today...I began to miss him like crazy. I
cried & cried. I feel so alone. I'm losing everyone. I
finally stopped crying. But then I made the stupid mistake
of going through pictures & "the box." I even read the
story he wrote me like 2 years ago. The story " How it all
began"...the story of us...It was in a journal he stole
from me & had given it back to me when we went to lunch for
the first time as friends. The journal that almost caused
me to puke on Bryan when I saw him give it back to me. I
haven't been able to read it since he gave it back. But
tonight I was able to. It was sooo sad. It gave me chills
just like it did the first time I read it. It made me sad,
but it made me happy. I have no idea how. It was a
different time & place....where did it all go? Why did it
have to go? Reading it gave me hope, a hope I haven't felt
in a while. A hope of one day being that happy with him
again. Maybe its just a dream & a wish. Maybe it will come
true though.


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