Please Dont Cry
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2005-03-07 02:51:31 (UTC)

a little patience..

Update? Here we go, Okay my brother went to my dads
yesterday! Hell yeah I had a peaceful night without him.
It was great. I bought two movies, a lifetime movie and
unfaithful because i love the sex scenes. Ha that's my
reason for buying it, Im such a loser. Jayson spent the
night here, we had fun, just hung out and stuff like that.
Um, We went to Applebees today and i almost left my ring
on the table but the waitress came out and gave it to me.
If I lost it I wouldve died. It means everything to me
because my boy gave it to me..I love him more than
anything and I dont care what anyone else says because
they mean nothing to me.

I thought him and I broke up cause im a jealous bitch, I
cant help it. Im so controlling. I want him all to myself.
Is that so wrong? I'd die for him give up everything I
have just to please him. He's my everything. I just want
him and that's all. I dont want anyone else to have him or
I'd kill myself. No Joke. I prob would. It sounds
pathetic, obsessive, and what not, but I mean it. I have
these feelings for him that I've never had for anyone
else. I know him and I are going to last, forever and for
always. That's how it's suppose to be. Just me and him,
nobody else in the world just us. Together. Always.

Im such a bitch to him, Im mean, a total bitch. I cant
help it I hope he understands that, I dont mean to, I just
am like that. I just want to be your everthing Jay, That's
all. All that you will ever need. I never thought I'd look
at you this way, I always thought of you as my best friend
the kid I can be stupid around, but your not just my
boyfriend now, your my best friend, your simply amazing
and Id do anything for you. because you are my everything.
God, Im so obsessive!!!!! Ha and I dont fuckin care. I
didnt finish most of my homework, but im sick of focusing
on school because in the end it doesnt even matter (LP).

Also, I have this english presentation thing tomorrow for
my sucidal project thing, I hope I do okay the faggot
who's doing it with me makes me look good..ha she's such a
loser. Pathetic acutally. So she will make me look good
which is a good thing, and I know my stuff so I'll do
great, Ima go with how it takes me tomorrow and do things
on the moment because I never do that and this is a new
me. and I dont want to worry I dont want to be stressed
out anymore, I just want to let it all go, and not worry
about anything. and I think i have the will to do that and
im going to because im just like that and if I want
something bad in enough fucker I will do it.

Jayson I love you so much baby, More than anything. You
mean the world to me and I apologize for everything that's
been going on, you just gotta give me sometime and all I
want to do is make you happy and be all that you need and
be the one to make you smile when your world is going
wrong because you know I will be the one by your side
through the good and the bad times because Im not going
anywhere except with you because I need you and I love you
and nothing can change the way I feel about you baby.

December 8, 2005 -forever

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