reeses24rc

my diary
2005-03-06 19:05:35 (UTC)

Pause

We always have these moments when we think about the past
and even sometimes wish to go back to this one moment in
time. It's those perfect moments etched in our mind so
well that we can sometimes even recall small details, like
what we were wearing. It's good to have such amazing
memories, it truly is, but what I am starting to learn is
that there really isn't a rewind button for life. No
matter how much we may want to go back, we just can't.
This may sound simple and easy, and maybe it is for some.
I know some who can let go and move on easily, I've always
had a harder time picking up the pieces and moving
forward. But what I've come to realize is that living in
the past, or thinking about the past, you miss out on so
much. We all want great memories to color our lives, but
if we continually live in the past, we never have a chance
to create those perfect moments now.

Better late than never I suppose, but I feel as though I'm
finally starting to let go. I've stopped looking back so
much, and I've even stopped looking forward, to an extent
anyway. After I realized dwelling in my past wasn't
working, I started thinking about the future. I always
would say, I don't want to be here right now. I want to
have a job, be settled. I am tired of college, I would
often say I wanted to fast forward life. I am so angry
for having that mentality because life is so short, we
should never wish time away. Time moves so fast on its
own, it needs no help from us...So I am going to try
something new, instead of thinking about the future so
much, worrying about the future or dwelling in the past, I
am going to pause and enjoy right now. It's really all I
can do, some things in life are truly beyond our control.
Take love for example, you can love someone with all your
heart and it's not a guarantee that they will ever feel
the same. It's the same with time, it passes minute by
minute, hour by hour, and just as fast anymore, year by
year. We can't rewind, fast forward, or stop it, even
though sometimes we may want to.

I am finally starting to get that simple concept that life
is short, so live it up. It's what I am finally doing. I
still of course care about getting good grades and doing
well in school. I still have dreams and goals that I will
work hard to achieve, but I've stopped doing homework
during the weekend. I am starting to realize we all
deserve a couple days to really relax, be with friends and
of course go out dancing :o) I always used to feel so
guilty if I was with friends or even family and didn't
look at a book for a day or two. Now I am realizing that
in twenty years from now it really won't be the grade I
got on my personality exam, but rather the memories I am
creating with some pretty amazing people.

Some people come into our lives and are really only there
a short time, maybe a year, maybe a month....others come
into our lives and are there forever. You never really
know, but I truly believe that each person that touches
you in some way, whether you knew them a day or you've
known them your whole life, they are there for a reason,
perhaps to teach you something about yourself. Perhaps
you are there to show them something about who they are.
But I think this is what matters in life, the people you
meet who touch you along that journey of life, we all need
dreams but whom would we have to share them with if not
for our friends and our family. So instead of worrying
about where I am going to be in a couple years, I am just
going to pause and enjoy life and the people who are with
me on this part of my journey.




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