Helpless mosochistic love
2005-03-04 02:44:32 (UTC)

Lost and not found

Where do I belong? I dont want to live here on this
earth. I want to turn and walk away. I wish, if tthere was
a god, Why am I here? Is it for his amusement? I love
Brandon and I cant get over it, Leahs starting to doubt
and saying hes not the one. I ignore her or try, inside im
screaming and telling her to shut up, it tears me apart
to hear her say that. Then everyone keeps asking if im
going out with him, God shut up if I do (which im
starting to doubt) I would tell you. Brandons got my
running crazy all I can think about is him, I doodle over
everything with his name. Just everything about him his
smile, scent, voice & laughter, not to meniton when we
rough house, I love it being around him to lay on his
lap. I just wish I could feel like that forever. Brandon
has no idea how much it kills my heart to see him leave
and when I left his house and family I started to cry, and
I was thinkking, time to go back to hell A.K.A. my house
and family. Noone knows how bad I want him how
much I want to get closer. Anyway im going shoe
shopping, Bye. Love ya.

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