The truth is here
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2005-03-03 19:47:04 (UTC)

Blah blah blah

Wow something actually is free on the internet. LOL a
dairy of all things. Like I can't write things down on pen
and paper. 44 yrs old. Wow where is the time going. Seems
to me I was just getting high yesterday and listening to
Sabbath, making plans to change the world. Yea right. Who
cares other than me about the world.
I know people will be reading this. I clicked on make it
public. I wonder why I did that. I guess it's some sort of
cry for some sort of "ear" from someone.
So for all you "ears"(eyes) out there here is a little
something about me. 44 yrs old. male, good looking? I guess.
Divorced no kids. Single????? Yea I guess so too.
I going to dump Mary for the last time today. I can't
take her lying anymore. I can't keep paying her bills for
her. I don't think we have the same goals in mind. Hell I
don't even know what my goals are. Time out..gotta take a
shit. Man thats like the 3rd crap this morning. I guess
that means I'm full of shit.
Don't know what to write in here.. where do I begin.
What about the past do I put down all the terriable things
that have happened to me? The things that have made me the
man I am today. I guess I will someday but not today not
all of it.
I've been dreamimg of Annette all morning. She was
someone I slept with back in Vegas. She was the FIRST one
that I looked at and said to myself I'm going to fuck her.
She was the one who got me out of my shy shell. After her I
knew it was on. I knew I was good looking. I was 25 yrs old
then, and she was only the third woman I slept with (that I
didn't pay for) LOL. But after her it was like pussy was
just falling otta the trees and into my lap.
Yea and now.... all that pussy..... all those
all comes back to haunt me now. Cause I'm so freaking
truthful. I wish I could lie. After Mary I know there will
be another.(Not soon though LOL I need a break! I need to
be alone.) Why do they always ask "where did you learn
that" they're so happy that I can give them that big "O".
So happy that I like to eat pussy... but they wanta know
how or where you learned it. Then that leads to the bigger
question. "Well XXXX (hence forth xxxx will be me) just how
many women have you been with? I guess thats why I can't
ever find the right one. I'm reduced to being a slut
sleeping with sluts. I just want one good woman, loyal
honest, family orienated (what ever that word is) not lazy,
not fat, good looking, sexy and doesn't care or at least
won't throw it in my face that I was a male slut. Oh yea
and likes to fuck. Man if I could find one like that I give
her the world.
I have lived ever mans dream life I guess when it comes
to women. Funny I never got laid in high school. But those
guys that did are married to good ladys. And they are
always looking to cheat on thier wives. GEZZZZ what kinda
of friends do I have anyhow LOL. I have never cheated when
I was in a relationship NEVER. They don't know how good
they have it. Sometimes I feel bad cause I have slept with
a married woman. She wanted me so bad. It's weird. That
feeling I get; and i know they want me. Why am I the only
one who knows?.... That look...those it a scent
or smell? Do I need to teach other men this?
Yea but it all comes with a price. I am alone. I wish to
GOD I had a son....or a daughter. All alone. All that pussy
and what do I have to show for it? Nada.. zip... ZERO..
NOTHING!!!! I am alone. I wonder why God has done that to
me? Oh you net people don't know. I had myself tested for
sperm mobility. The funniest thing came back. No sperm.
LOL. Hell here I was TRYING to get someone pregant anyone
lol and I can't have kids LOL.. (well I might with intro-
So as I was saying I have lived ever mans dream life
Vegas life all the women. Heck they could make a movie
about me. But guys it's not worth it. All you need is one.
and she sleeps right next to you hopefully. Don't envy me.
I envy you. I wish I had your life...hmmm lol I wish I had
your wife... sorry thats a joke. Sorta of joke. But what I
really wish is... that when I first met Annette that I wish
I would have really really tried to let her know that I
wanted more then just sex. I wish it was just her....well
thats what I was dreaming about all morning anyhow. Heck we
might never have worked out.... She was doing her thing
anyhow back then......and that is a story for another day.
Time to take a nap. Cause Sleep is cheap and you don't
have to eat.