Jessica Smith

Behind the Mask...
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2005-02-28 19:01:59 (UTC)

you dont know

You don't know but;
so many days i fall asleep crying
not knowing what to do
i listen without complaint
it breaks my heart seeing you so sad
i know its not up to me to fix everything
i feel like i have to

You don't know but;
i feel like i have to be perfect
i know i cant
it hurts when all i hear is your pain and sorrow
i try so hard
nothing is ever good enough
i don't know you any more

You don't know but;
i can hardly stand being at home
then i remember what i was told by you
"that you will never make it"
"nobody would want you with them"
Just hearing that made me feel like dying

you dont know but;
it makes me sick when i see you have "company" at night
Almost everyday i pray that you will remember just one
thing that i say
it really hurts when you don't listen to me
or respect my opinion
i feel like a stranger when i am around you
you don't know me

you don't know but
i feel like i cannot talk to you about anything
i have been keeping so many secrets from you
i have had an obsession with how much i weigh
i have been remembering that one incident more and more

you don't know but;
everywhere i go, i feel unliked or like i don't belong
i detest the smell when you smoke
even when you're there i feel so alone
i don't eat much any more and have lost a bunch of weight

you dont know but;
i always feel like a screw up
i always hear when you put me down
i am growing up to be like you,
and it's not who i want ot be
you just don't know

By jessica lynn smith