Stoned Out Butterfly
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2005-02-27 18:45:57 (UTC)

Sunday 2/27/05

I am sick of everything! Literally nobody gets me, I'm
serious. I hate saying that but its true! Nobody gets that
I am very secluded and anti-social for a reason! Being
around a lot of people I really don't know scares me.
Yeah, I have know them for like 2 years, and thats really
it. If you think about it, how well do people who have
only known eachother for a few years, know eachother?
There are only some people who don't scare me, and just
about all of them I have known for a while now. I only am
not scared of Rachael, Robin, Taylor, Denise, Jessica,
Cheyenne, Brandon, and people like that. I don't care if
all I do is live in the past, I really don't! It makes me
feel better thinking in the past because it involves
people I know already. Thats probablly the reason I won't
go out with Alvis. I don't know anything about him, and he
scares me too.

I still don't get why people put up with me. I know I
am a mean person, too. I don't get why people say they
like me either. They take my stuff and hide it from me,
embarass me, call me every name in the book, and so on.
Then they are like "Lisa your so mean!" and my
favorite "Yes, Lisa you are our friend! We do like you!".
Oh please, and you people wonder why I am so mean!. You do
all that stuff to me and wonder why I do stuff to you? All
of you just don't get it do you? I can be an extreamly
nice person once you get to know me! But when you take my
stuff and hide it from me, call me weird, freak, loser,
etc, and stuff like that to me all the time, starts to
make me wonder I must be that because they keep saying
it!. God, no wonder I have no self confidence or anything
in myself! I get called every name in the book constantly.
No wonder I only like people I have known for a really
long time, they don't do that to me! How am I werid
anyways? C'mon! How am I so weird? What do I do that is so
different, huh? Just saying I'm weird isn't a reason
either! I want a damn reason why I am weird! What do I do
or say that makes you say that!?!

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