Partying like a college student (again)
it's been quite some time since i've been to some college
parties. it's been quite some time since i've been so drunk
i've complimented a couch on its decor and then gotten into
a fist fight with a lamp because i thought he was trying to
get that couch.
luckily i broke this hiatus and went out to get trashed. we
started pre-gaming at kristin's apartment as ryan brought
some ice 101 and juli bought some rum. pre-gaming i think
is a game of logic, you have to drink enough so that you can
coast for a while if it takes you some time to get a drink
when you go, but you also can't drink so much that you get
arrested the second you step outside. we finally hit up the
first college party i've been to in a whiel. it was a 70s
themed party and i was well equipped in my dark hooded
sweater. a girl with an afro told us it would be 3 dollars
to wait in line for cheap beer while hundreds of obnoxiously
drunk assholes pushed by you as they feebly attempted to
hook up. so there i am standing in line with everyone and
the fucking thing doesn't even budge, when i ask juli,
we look up and there he is (somehow) at the keg serving
beer. mind you we had just arrived (although he had crushed
some ice 101). apparently he did his drunk ryan saunter,
and had sauntered his way right up to the keg in true
veteran style. nothing like a drunk veteran to get you some
beer. we crushed what we believed was about 3 dollars worth
of beer and then went to the local bar. jesus h. christ was
it packed. i paid another 3 dollars (i think i'm not quite
sure anymore) to a guy who looked like a mountain and ambled
into the club. i promptly got stuck in a stick, sweaty, mix
of over-aggressive drunk college males. it sounded like i
had gotten stuck in a porn movie. specifically a porn movie
in which al roker rapes a group of drunk screaming banshess.
all i could hear where enraged shrieks followed by a few
sickeningly satisfying grunts. now normally i would hate
being in such close proximity to people, but once you're
drunk you just really don't care. we pushed our way to the
bar and ordered our drinks (actually we just kinda yelled
for a while).
after some cement mixers and a (free) liquid cocaine i was
playing a game that consisted of pictures of naked men in
seductive poses, on which one was supposed to choose the
discrepancies between the two pictures (i.e. what is in one
picture that was missing in another). after a couple of
games of this ryan and i moved to another part of the bar
where the fun really broke out.
all i really remember are these two black guys staring at
each other for a second. then some angry shrieking. then
some muffled gangster like talking which i believed
"yo nigga, you besta back offa me."
"i ain't fuckin' wit yo shit, you wack. but i'm gonna fuck
wit you if you don't back up."
and then they got into it. one of the guys was promptly
pushed into me (i always get people pushed into me). and
they went it, right there after we left, knowing that i had
expereienced everything a good collge student should experience.
crowded confines, obnoxious drunks, aggressive males, and of
course being too drunk to really know what was going on.