bekah

bekah
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PropellerAds
2005-02-26 21:19:58 (UTC)

journal

so i figured i needed to make one of these cause i dont
really have a lot of friends and its hard to talk to people
about crap so i figure i'll just say stuff here or whatever

i dont have a lot of time right now cause i have to work in
a few minutes but whatever, i'll probably just edit latorrr

but i hate how things are going right now
i just wish i had more time

i thought that losing weight would solve my problems
just like i thought getting braces off would solve
all my problems

everything is still the same
i still hate myself
i hate almost everyone

i met ryan
hes great, he made me wake up and change my life
maybe not on his timetable and definitely not on mine
but i guess its a compromise

if he doesnt like me cause of the way i look
then fuck it i dont care anymore
seriously
i'm so tired of caring about people who dont care about me

life sucks
i just wish there were some people in this world who
actually cared about ME about my wellbeing so that i could
care about them in return

everyone is always selfish
always too needy

i just keep to myself, maybe thats how i should keep it
online sucks offline sucks job sucks
i suck
everything sucks

i love ryan with all my heart and i pray that everything
works out cause i dont think i could handle another
disappointment in my life cause i'm seriously on the edge

i just want to crawl in a hole and think and think and think
so that i never have to do anything and just waste away to
nothing, which is probably what i deserve bye


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