homegirl1200

My Life
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2005-02-26 05:50:21 (UTC)

Beginning

Now why exactly am I doing this? I have nobody to talk to
about the shit I'm going threw and I'm not sure I want to.
Ever since Christmas eve 2004 I have started the one thing
that I thought was absolutly stupid. Cutting. It was after
I had to come home after I ran off with one of my friends
because my mom was driving be insane and I was going to
end it if I couldnt get out. When I came back all she did
was bitch and call people and tell them I was a bitch and
anything else she could do. I went in the kitchen and got
the paring knife and cut a little into my wrist but quit.
Then I started on top of my arm. I had 3 cuts on my arm by
the time I went back to school. One of my friends saw it
and asked me if it was what she thought it was and it took
alot of courage for me to admit I had done it, which I
would later regret. Its not got any better since then. My
friend told one of my other friends that I was doing this
for attention. I was more hurt than pissed. This other
friend, W is now the only person I talk to about stuf in
my life and also the one who came and took me out of this
hell hole I call my home. Now I dont tell my other friend
B about anything important. She thinks I've quit cutting
but I haven't. Now I have five scars on my arm below my
wrist until I realized that people would get suspicious
and I was tired of hidding it. So I've started doing it on
my leg. When I cut, it has to bleed alot or I'm not happy
and I do it until it does. I'm ready for the day I get
brave enough to do my wrist good so I can leave this
fuckin place.


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