Place my Pieces Together-Angie#6
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2005-02-24 21:22:58 (UTC)

Early release...

Well today is early release and everyone is either spending
it with their friends, loved ones, or etc. Unlike everyone
else I'm here at my house spending it alone because I am
punished. Dont ask me why cause its a stupid reason. Well
its sucks to know that the people that suppose to care and
love you the most dont.(i think you know who I'm talking
about) Well today I had plans to go to the beach with Manny
(best friend), Lia (best friend), Eddie (!CASE OF THE EX!),
Alex, Nubia, Andy, Elena, and I dont know who else. Well
while I was on my way home to get my bikini when Manny and
Alex told me that I should call my mom and inform her on my
whereabouts because I never know what could happen while
I'm gone. Can You Say GUILT TRIP! Well yeah, so I called my
mom and asked her and she told me no. For which I
understand cause I did something wrong and I needed to face
the consequences. Whatever when Eddie found out that I
couldnt go he asked me if I wanted him to stay and I told
him yeah stay with me so that I wont be alone cause
everyone was going. Cause we all know that my friends are
more about going out and having the time of their lives
than anything else. Like they dont really care about the
others staying behind. So whatever I left home from Mannys
house walking...Eddie stayed and decided to go the beach
with them. Well keep in mind that Eddie is the one trying
to convince me that his changed and shit when in reality he
hasnt. He is so full of shit. I've just about had it with
Eddie and all of his shit that he feeds me. Well whatever I
called Manny back to talk to Eddie and tell him how I felt.
I told him that its messed up how like one moment he could
be telling me I love you I miss you I wanna be with you and
I've changed. And this was his chance to prove to me that
he isnt that asshole that I have in mind. But as usual
Eddie being his dumbass self didnt really care and decided
to go anyway. I dont know why I keep telling myself that
this guy is going to change when in reality he isnt. You
cant force yourself to love someone. You just CANT! The
past is in the past and we werent meant to be. He did what
he did and it was for a reason. I have come to understand
okay he had a big part of my life but that doesnt mean that
I have to be with him just based on history. I've made my
mind up and I am not going to let myself get hurt and and I
am not going to let him make another tear drop from my eye.
I cried enough and I am not up for this anymore! I've had
it and I'm done! I guess Anthony was right. Stupid boy!
Thats another thing. Anthony I like him I know I've
fallen for this guy. I mean really hard but like all he
ever does is push me away and I know he is the MR. RIGHT
i've been looking for just that I messed that up. But how
could he be so stupid to let what we had go. Okay we have
our similiarities and also our differences. Like we like
and enjoy the same things but as for the way we go about
things its very different. My life is full of drama and all
of that and his life is basically laid out for him. Like
when he came to find out about me being unfaithful we broke
up but when we broke up in that time I had left on a week
cruisie I have no clue on his whereabouts for that one
week. I've heard stories of him being unfaithful to me
during that time period but in reality we werent officially
going out but like it still felt like if we were together.
Whatever I dont know he says he didnt do anything others
saw him and heard about it. I Dont Know! And if he did I am
completely okay with it. Like when I came back it was just
in time for christmas break. Well during christmas break I
changed completely I realized how much I hurt Anthony and
seeing him hurt broke my heart completely. I knew I needed
to make it up to him although thats is something you just
cant forget about which I understand you know. But like my
time life and everything was about him and I didnt mind.
Like he is so worth all of it. I was the sweetest person
whatever he wanted I was there you know. Like thats when I
fell for him that hardest. Like everything is different
about him his touch his kiss everything. I've felt that
before but nothing has ever been as true as that. I want to
be with this guy...I know I found THE ONE in him. If only
he could realize that and see love probably the only true
love staring at him directly to his face. I dont know whats
his problem. I wish that one morning he could just come
looking for me take me into his arms and kiss me and with
that one kiss he would tell me everything and take me back
into his heart! That is my dream! What I wouldnt give to
just have that! Anthony if you ever get to read this and
find it in your heart to give it one more chance you wont
regret! I wish God would just answer my prayer! Well this
is it for now...gonna take a nap! *Nite Nite*

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