melb00m

mels world
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2005-02-24 08:25:48 (UTC)

The break up

Well me and my boyfriend of 2 years and a month broke up
today. Exactly. I've seen this coming for a while. But its
so hard. when me and him once shared something so deep
emotionally. We had something tha tmost people don't find
in a lifetime. Then life stepped in. things have been
going downhill for a while. Ive been holding on with hope
that things will get better. And that maybe there is a
future for us. He's not the type of guy to buy a girl
flowers, or even take me out for dinner ever. He hates
coming to my house. and we have been in a long distance
relationship for half of it. Ive been pushing for the next
step forever. However being his first girlfriend and his
first everyhting. hes not as anxious or convinced that this
was the one and only for his whole life. Everytime i think
we are getting somewhere things take a nosedive. All my
friends are pregnant or getting married right now. all my
life i was convinced i was going to be one of those girls.
that iw as going to find myself a guy that could take care
of me. and that we were just going to live happily ever
after. Me and jon were having problems before the cancer.
and then he got cancer and now hes not even allowed to
visit me or naything because he can't get sick. not that he
ever used to go out of his way to visit me anywyas. not
unless i threaten to break up with him. did i ever get
his attention.
- mel


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