bluemoon

The crazy world of me
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2005-02-23 16:30:57 (UTC)

drama

HEY THERE KIDS. DRAMA IS THE TITLE SO YOU KNOW THERE IS
PROBLEMS. WHAT ELSE IS NEW THOUGH. IT IS THE STORY OF MY
LIFE. SO MY BIG SECRET THAT VERY SELECT PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT
IS OUT TO ONE PERSON I WASN'T SURE HOW TO TELL. AND OF
COURSE THAT IS RICKY. BIG NEWS HUH. SO THE OTHER NIGHT I
WAS EXTREMELY DRUNK AND VERY EMOTIONAL I GUESS AND I JUST
HAD TO TELL HIM. I FEEL DUMB AND STUPID FOR IT. BUT HEY
THAT'S ME. I SHOULD HAVE JUST NEVER CALLED HIM. HE
PROBABLY WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME NOW AND HATES ME AND
THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT. I WISH I COULD EXPLAIN
MYSELF BUT ITS NOT POSSIBLE ITS JUST NOT POSSIBLE.
RICKY THINKS ITS BECAUSE HE HAS A NEW GIRLFRIEND WHY I
CAME OUT WITH MY SECRET BUT THAT'S NOT IT. IT HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH IT. i AM HAPPY FOR HIM. GREAT, SUPER,
FANTASTIC. THAT WAS ACTUALLY ONE OF THE REASONS I DIDN'T
SAY ANYTHING. I MEAN ITS NOT LIKE I COULDN'T FIND SOMEONE
ELSE BECAUSE I COULD I KNOW I COULD BUT I JUST DON'T WANT A
BOYFRIEND. ONE OF THE REASONS FOR NOT SAYING ANYTHING IS
BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT RICKY TO THINK I WAS SAYING IT JUST
BECAUSE HE HAD A NEW GIRLFRIEND AND BAM IT HIT ME MY FACE
AND HE STILL THOUGHT IT ANYWAY. I KNEW HE HAD MOVED ON WITH
HIS LIFE AND I DIDN'T WANT TO BOTHER HIM. I DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO AND I ENDED UP MAKING ALL THE WRONG DECISIONS.
I GUESS THAT IS NOTHING NEW. I ALWAYS FUCK UP EVERYTHING.
THEN HE TELLS ME I AM TRYING TO GET RID OF MY PROBLEMS BY
DRINKING AND SMOKING BUT ANY OF MY PROBLEMS I HAVE NEVER
TRIED TO TAKE CARE OF WITH THAT SHIT. I AM NOT THAT DUMB
THAT I WOULD THINK THAT IT WOULD GET RID OF MY PROBLEMS
BECAUSE THE NEXT DAY WHEN I GET UP THEY ARE STILL GOING TO
BE THERE AND I WILL PROBABLY BE WORSE OFF THAT I WAS IN THE
FIRST PLACE.
YES, I HAVE BEEN DRINKING AND SMOKING A LOT LATELY BUT IT
HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY PROBLEMS. I HAVE JUST BEEN
HANGING OUT WITH PEOPLE A LOT LATELY AND NORMALLY WHEN THEY
WANT TO DRINK I AM UP FOR IT. I MEAN IT IS NOT NEAR AS BAD
AS IT USE TO BE. WHEN PEOPLE USE TO BE AT MY HOUSE ALL THE
TIME BACK WHEN I WAS IN SCHOOL IT WAS LIKE AN EVERYDAY
THING AND ITS NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL WITH DRINKING. YEAH I
DO SMOKE ALMOST EVERY NIGHT BUT IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH
IT AND ITS NOTHING FROM THE NORMAL. I JUST LIKE TO SMOKE.
I DON'T NEED IT OR CRAVE IT BUT FOR THE MOST PART IT IS
SOMETHING TO DO. HE HAS EVEN SMOKED JUST FOR SOMETHING TO
DO.
YES, I HAD MY THREE DAY DRINKING BINGE BUT THAT WAS JUST
BECAUSE I HAD FOUR DAYS OFF AND I NEVER GET THAT ESPECIALLY
ON A WEEKEND SO I TOOK THE ADVANTAGE TO JUST DRINK AND HAVE
FUN AND WE FOR REAL DIDN'T DRINK THAT MUCH. I DON'T THINK
WE EVEN DRANK EVERYDAY BUT WE SURE DID SMOKE A LOT. IT WAS
GOOD STUFF AND I HAD SOME FUN DAYS AND IT WASN'T JUST THE
WEED IT WAS BECAUSE MY FRIENDS WERE THERE AND WE JUST ACTED
GOOFY.
THAT REMINDS ME. I NEVER TOLD SOME OF YOU GUYS ABOUT
KEITH. I MET HIM AT WORK AND HE IS A REALLY COOL GUY. WE
HAVE A LOT IN COMMON. HE WOULD PROBABLY BE A GOOD
BOYFRIEND IF HE WASN'T GAY. THAT'S HOW IT ALWAYS HAPPENS
EITHER ALL THE GOOD LOOKING SWEET GUYS ARE EITHER TAKEN OR
GAY. KEITH IS NOT REALLY CUTE THOUGH. HE IS FUN TO HANG
OUT WITH. I AM TRYING TO HOOK JAKE UP. THEY WOULD BE SO
CUTE TOGETHER. YEAH SO I MET HIM AND THEN INTRODUCED HIM
TO SOME OF MY PEOPLE AND NOW I HANG OUT WITH HIM JUST ABOUT
EVERYDAY. THAT'S HOW IT ALL STARTS. WELL, I HAVE TO GO SO
I WILL TALK TO YOU KIDS LATER. PEACE


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