Danny

?WHY?
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2005-02-22 14:59:45 (UTC)

Life finds a way

Well, I had no idea what to write about, but then a song
came on...not sure of the artist or title, but the main
corus has this line:

"We've got to believe, it'll be alright in the end.."

Talked to a close friend last night. Astonishingly enough,
she is going through practically the exact same thing that
I had gone through about 2 months ago. Her significant
other needs a break to focus on himself, to be independant.

What is the world coming to? The more people I talk to,
the more that word independance comes up. Why? Could it
be fear? Image? Self happiness? ...It could be
anything, but there IS a reason.

Me? I am independant. Of course, to certain degrees. To
be totally independant, I'd be a hermit. I do depend on
people, everyone does. I depend on people to help me live
my life, as I help them live their lives.

But, as I think right now, one thing that is very common
with those who wish to be independant (and there are a lot
of "those") is that, when it comes down to it, decisions
are their worst enemy. Simple decisions are difficult to
make. Why is that? You want to be independant, yet, you
want help in making decisions; or, sometimes you want
others to make a decision for you. Is there anything wrong
with that? Well, no, not really. Its just, I find, as
always...those who talk the talk, usually don't walk the
walk.

But isn't that human, to depend on other people? By this I
don't mean to place your life in their hands, and to have
that person make every single decision for you (or any at
all). Just, to know that that person is there, should you
need them.

Talking with this friend, and others as well about the
topic, a common phrase is that "[I] don't want to become
too dependant on [person]". Why? If you grow with a
person, you are most likely going to grow together, right?
And through time, dependance on each other would grow as
well. This could be a relationship, a friendship,
parenting...anything.

But there are still those who are scared to depend (even
though their actions say otherwise). I've seen friends
like this. I've witnessed their actions and words when
they are with others, or with their significant other. And
of course, like any other programmer, I realize
similarities and patterns.

The amount of mental independance (independance that is
wished for by the person's mind) is hyporcitical to the
actual dependance (what is physically or verbally said).
The extreme of this image is usually in flux with the
person's child hood.

No matter what happens, life will go on. Dependancies will
be broken, and new ones will be made. But that depends on
you, and what you make of it. If you think you are too
dependant, you may not be. If you think you are
independant, again, you probably aren't.

Think of a child that lost a limb. They now have an
artificial arm. Are they independant, or dependant? We
are all dependant, or eachother, of everything. I depend
on the subway driver to get me to the right station safely.
I depend on that guy behind to stop when I stop and not
rear end me. I depend on my mom to cook dinner every night.
BUT, on those nights that she can't, the world doesn't end.
I just, improvise. No, I don't panic, freak out, jump to
conclusions of me withering away to nothing as I starve to
death... I act because I have to for myself. Nothing but a
stepping stone to jump over. A little sacrifice. HA, thats
another thing that goes with independance and even
dependance, yet, is never realized.

"Baby you don't know....how to sacrifice" Savage Garden?

If you want to be independant, then go out into the
wilderness and start from scratch. No contact with humans,
no items of anything...not even clothes. Even hermits, as
independant as they are, are dependant on society. They
depend society to leave them alone.

We are people...not person. We depend on everything, and
when we can't depend, we independ. (if that makes sense).
Use what you have. Use your resources; but do not deplete
them. Again, I'm not saying to depend on everyone. But,
as a person, one will know what and who to depend on. As
they become more comfortable, the dependance deepens.

So many people want to be depend on independence. Why not
try being independently dependant?

After all, doesn't it feel great knowing that, even though
you can do things by yourself, there is still someone there
who can lend a helping hand, or to give you that extra
push, or to make you feel that even the mistakes are worth
doing?

Its life. Don't push it away. Accept it.

"You live, you learn, you love, you learn, you cry, you
laugh, you learn..." Alanis Morsette.
(I think those are the words...if not, then hey, its still
fits)

Go with the flow....


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