1: Reese Cups
It was my fifth one that I’d had today. Okay, so
that’s not a lot, but it is when I was actually starting
to gain weight. I shoved the rest of the Reese Cup in my
mouth and swallowed it. Man, but those things were good.
Why didn’t I ever eat them before? I wondered. I hadn’t
gained a lot of weight, just about three pounds, but I
knew after Christmas break was over that I’d be able to
lose it because I wouldn’t be sitting around as much. I
stretched my legs out over the side of the couch. Why am I
sitting at home eating? I asked myself. That’s all I’d
done for the last three days since Aaron had broken up
with me. I couldn’t explain how I felt. I was fine when I
was just sitting at home being alone, but when I actually
tried to get ready and do something, I’d get depressed. I
guess it’s just because I didn’t want to see Aaron or hear
people talk about him. The newest rumor I’d heard was that
he missed me and he wanted us to get back together, but he
hadn’t called yet. That is why they call those not so true
things rumors. I sighed out loud and turned off the
television. I guess I could take a shower. There’s
something useful. I thought. I walked into the kitchen and
opened the refrigerator. I grabbed a gallon of orange
juice and sat the juice on the counter. There was a
picture of Aaron and me on the refrigerator from my junior
prom last year. His hair was a lighter brown and he was
tan. Aaron had just gotten back from a baseball tournament
in Florida that he was selected for. I quickly grabbed my
phone and dialed his cell. I couldn’t help myself, but I
needed to know what was going on.
“Hey Katy.” Aaron said. He sounded surprised to
hear from me.
“I just called to see what was going on . . . ” I
“What do you mean?” He asked sounding confused.
“Like, what’s going on with us?” I asked.
“Well, I just needed some room to breathe for a
while. There’s been some stuff going on with me lately.”
He started to explain. “But I don’t want this to be over.”
“So that means . . . what?” I asked. I gave him a
serious tone. I couldn’t help it. I was really confused
with what he was saying.
“Let’s just spend some time apart and then we’ll
see what happens.” He made it sound so easy and I hated
him for that. I didn’t even want to say good bye. I hung
up the phone and put it back on the receiver. My whole
body became numb and I felt stupid for calling him. Of
course I wanted to be with him, but in order for that to
happen, he has to want to be with me too. I walked back
into the living room and collapsed on the couch. I started
to cry so hard that I could barely breathe. How could
something so perfect just end like that? I asked myself.
My phone started to ring again, but I didn’t answer. I
didn’t care. I walked back into the kitchen and pulled my
favorite ice cream out of the freezer. Ben & Jerry’s
Chocolate Fudge Brownie always seemed to do the trick. I
grabbed a spoon and walked back to the living room. I
turned the TV onto the Lifetime channel, hoping something
good would be on. I sat there with my ice cream and cried.
I woke up to my best friend Tory sitting next to
me on the couch. She had a grin on her face.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” I asked feeling
“I just stopped by to see how you are doing.” She
smiled. “It looks like you got a little hungry.” She said
referring to the empty carton of ice cream sitting on the
coffee table along with all the other candy wrappers.
“My stomach is killing me.” I said, patting it as
I stood up. I had already felt 10 pounds heavier.
“Yeah, you should never before you go to sleep.”
Tory said. “But you already knew that.” She paused and
looked at the carton of ice cream and then at me back at
me. “You never eat this junk anyway.”
“Yeah, I know. I think I truly know what it feels
like to be fat.” I laughed. Only, it wasn’t funny. I
didn’t know depression could make me feel like a big lump
of fat junk.
“Oh, shut up. You probably haven’t even gained any
weight.” Tory laughed.
“I think I’ve gained about three or four pounds.”
I said. I stood up quickly and stretched. It caused a
painful cramp in my stomach.
“You mean you haven’t even been to the gym yet?”
Tory asked. She gave me a really surprised look. I was a
really big health nut and very self conscience about my
body, but not these last few days.
“I know. I’ve just been sitting around
eating . . . everything.” I looked at the coffee table and
saw all the junk food wrappers laying around. It made me
want to puke.
“You’ll get over it. I heard Aaron wanted to go
back out with you anyway.” Tory said smiling.
“I don’t know about that one.” I said and then I
told her the story of how I had talked to him earlier that
“I’m sorry,” She said and gave me a big hug, “but
you’re not sitting at home again tonight!”
“Why?” I asked grinning. “I’m so comfortable in
these sweat pants.”
“I’m having the girl’s over tonight!”
“Oooh what fun!” I sighed sarcastically.
“No, it will be.” Tory said playfully slapping my
“What do you have planned?” I asked interested.
“Well just this six of us hanging out at my house.
You know, pizza, movies, talking in the hot tub, like we
used to do all the time!”
“The six of us haven’t hung out in forever.” I
said. I really couldn’t remember the last time it was just
us six. “Why haven’t we?” I asked Tory.
“Well, Lindsey’s been hanging out with the goody
girls lately and you’ve been with Aaron and Anna’s been
with Brad, there just hasn’t been time.” Tory said. I
could tell she felt bad saying that it was partially my
fault, but it was. I did spend a lot of my time with Aaron.
“I’m sorry, and I’m such a shit.” I
laughed. “Let’s do this! We need ‘A Girls Night Out’!”
“All right. Everyone’s coming over to my house
around 7:30 p.m.” Tory said. She stood up off the
couch, “So, I gotta get home and clean up.”
“Okay, well I am going to shower and I’ll be over
in a little bit.” I said. I stood up and hugged her good
After Tory left I decided I would call my mom to
see if she was enjoying her vacation in the Bahama’s, but
she didn’t pick up, so I left a message on her voice mail.
“Hey Mom. I just called to see how everything was
going. I hope you are having fun. Call me back when you
get this. I love you!” I hung up and checked the color
I.D. I couldn’t believe Aaron had called six times after I
had hung up on him.
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