Ad 0:
2005-02-19 05:39:11 (UTC)

smoking ciggeretts wasting your time

have you ever smoked a whole pack of ciggs in less than an
hour, inhaling so deeply that you can feel the smoke go
all through your body, your arms loosen up and your head
becomes blissfully light, and when you exhale there's
hardly any smoke left...ahh
things we're so, so good. why the fuck didn't i see the
crash landing ahead? ash asked me to go to courtwarming
with her b/c chad didn't want to and she didn't want to go
by herself, so i went b/c i really haven't spent much time
with her lately. she ignored me the whole time, here i am
in another persons' school, hardly know anyone, and ash is
running around talking to a million people and left me to
rot. i just up and left. i was suposed to go to the club
with amanda and i told her that i really needed to spend
some time with ash b/c i haven't in a while so she was
mad at me. then ash is an ass to me. i feel like a
schmuk... amanda wouldn't answer her phone so i went to
her house to talk to her. kel called me and asked me how
the dance was, she was sick, i told her what ash did and
she told me she was really sorry, she's my only real
friend. Amanda's door was locked, it's never locked. i
called her again and she still didn't answer, i could
fuckin' see her light on in her bedroom so i knew she was
home and could hear me. so i up and left. i called adam
and he said he was going to go get drunk, by himself, b/c
he had a bad day. i asked him what happened and he told me
that anna ordered a pizza and he happened to answer the
phone, and then she sent in her new bf to pick it up. what
an ass right?. then he said he had to go b/c he just got
home and he had to think of something to tell his mom so
he could go drive around and get drunk. i told him to be
careful and to call me if he needed anything. it hurts so
bad to love someone who's in love with someone else... so
bad... i would give anything to have him but he's stuck on
anna... so bad. now i'm home and hour and a half before
curfew, i don't even know why i have a curfew i'm fuckin'
18. i just took a bunch of sleeping pills so hopefully
i'll pass out real quick and not have to deal with....
anything. so bad....
to anyone who smokes, camel winter mocha mint are so
good... so good, i'm convnced that there is
something "special" in them b/c they mellow me out like
nothing else...