Let's see how long this lasts
2005-02-18 02:31:23 (UTC)


Gosh, today sucked. I realize the my emotions are out of
balence for certain biological reasons, but this is
ridiculous. I can be so fine one second and heart broken
the next. I'm afriad you are going to begin to hate me if
I dont' pull myself together soon. I thought I had gotten
control. I guess not. I will. Right now I'm so weak. I
just want someone to hold me and tell me it will be
alright. I'm okay though. Everyone knows I don't like to
be touched. I'm so edgy. don't know what to do with
myself. Everything bothers me. Everything depresses me.
We'll actually I'm okay most of the time. Its just the
times I feel bad that I write. I don't like to be alone.
I get loneley. I've been lonely my entire life, you'd
think I'd be used to it by now. Really I'm okay most of
the time. Just not right now. I text messaged you
to see how the meeting went. I felt strongly that you
ignored me, but then I realized you were at a floor
meeting and hooters. I'm such a loser. I need to
chill. I wish I could listen
to my own advice. I was going to ask you to go to walmart
with me. I think I'll go alone; no one else is around. I
don't want to put myself out there again tonight. I'm
afraid I'm annoying. Don't take the final thought to
seriously. It's just stuck. It's not entirely true, but
I'm afraid at some point it will be. Yuck.

Final Thought: I fall to pieces, each time I see you
again. I fall to pieces, how can I be just your friend.
You want me to act like we've never kissed; you want me to
forget; pretend we never met. And I've tried and I've
tried but I haven't yet. You walk by and I fall to
pieces. I fall to pieces each time someone speaks your
name. I fall to pieces, time only adds to the pain. You
tell me to find some one else to love, someone who'll love
me too, the way you used to do, but each time I go out
someone new. You walk by and I fall to pieces

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