CHRISSY

Technically Speaking...
2005-02-17 04:18:43 (UTC)

Soooo Hungry....

Yeah, my first day all over again, of carrying this cross
called "extra weight", anyways, yesterday I ate 'til I was
about to explode, today I woke up at 1:30 pm, with a lot of
effort, I could've just lay down in the calm parallel
world, but I pulled myself together, out of the thought
(maybe) that I gotta go skiing w/ John and Charlotte this
Friday, and I don't wanna feel like a balloon, so I
exercised again and was done in almost 2 hrs 15 min.
Amazing, now I feel hungry, so hungry....that yesterday I
wanted to see my husband...6 feet under, but today when he
said "houla", he melted me, is like my physical hunger
turns into sexual hunger, at least if I get sexually
satisfied I don't gain any ounce. But you know what, this
is just like Alcoholics Anonymus, everyday is a struggle,
you gotta divert your mind into anything to forget about
binging, because that's what I do: I stuff myself
w/chocolates, cakes, sweets, cookies, pizza, high-carb big
time thigh expander wonders...so everyday seems a little
like a struggle, I try to hold on to my teddy, he went
through so much struggle and pain and I couldn't stop it,
me, his own mother...

So as always, I'm "twisting & turning" pretty easily, the
fact of the matter is that I gotta be strong and
persistent, but is so haaaard!!!! Mind over matter??? I'm
just human :), but I have an angel that can give me the
strength needed, ok?

OK!!!


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