diedtrying

I have fucking failed
2005-02-16 08:55:04 (UTC)

What the fuck is this life for?

So, to start the first page of my new diary, I will tell u
this. I am a 27 year old male, recently divorced, and i
ask u, what is this life for? Well, There is this girl
that i have this huge crush on that actually let me into
her diary life, and well, i decided to let my self out of
my cage. Never had a diary before. Does this make me
gay? I have a 5 year old daughter who means the world to
me and well, thats about it. in october, i lost my love,
and a week later, i got laid off from my job. I ask again,
whats this life for? I am bitter, I am lonely, and i need
a companion. I now have my daughter every day during the
week and quite often i have her over night too. I crave
adult life. Not sure how often i will write in here, or if
i will tell the complete truth. I need to vent. If u
like, read on. This woman i like alot, has skeletons in
her closet ands she wont let me into her heart, I am not a
bad looking guy, i have alot of love to offer, and plus,
she is a single mother. Just what i am looking for. She
is beautiful, and i have tried to let her know this. I
keep fucking up though, and try to rush into things. I am
a libra, romantic, sweet, undecisive, and horny as a mother
fucker. I have sex on the brain. This woman though, i
never even think like that with. It is more than that to
me with her. I love her voice, and i love talking to her.
She lives far away, well, a few hours and i havent met her,
but i have begged her to meet me. I dont wanna scream out
desperation, but damn, i feel like i dont wanna let her
go. I feel like i need to win the battle. I pissed her
off the other day and she wrote an entry about me.
Basically it was telling me to fuck off. Well, i did for a
few days, but, what should i do. If u set it free and it
comes back it was meant to be, or was that a dream i had? I
miss her. besotted_flirt i believe is her name on here.
feed back would be sweet. Well, i am gonna let myself down
to sleep




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