~lil-hott-mommaz~here-4-u

Life as I knew it...
2005-02-15 17:07:10 (UTC)

Sad and Depressed 2-15-05

Today has been an okay day but man-o-man did I have a hell
of a week last week. So I will catch you all up on what has
been going on.

I believe the last time I wrote in here was on Monday I
am not positive so I will start from there.
Monday- great day nothing went wrong, seen all my friends,
palyed pool, awsome relaxing day.
Tuesday- The most horrible day in my life. I woke up
tuesday morning not feeling good at all had really bad
stomach pains(I wasn't suppose to get those cause of the
baby) Around 11:45 am I went to the nurses office and told
her I was not feeling well and that I was pregnant and
Having horrible pains and was not sure what to do. She
asked all kinds of questions and Told me that everything
would be fine that I was just having contractions (may I
remind you I am only 16 weeks at that time) BIG NO NO.. I
had to pee and she was not doing any help by pushing on my
bladder so She told me to go to the restroom. How was I to
know that I was going to see what I seen. As I entered the
restroom I had a big gush of stuff run all down my leg. I
was bleeding!!! WHAT THE HELL! She called my mom and my mom
came to the school and rushed me to the emergency room. I
got there and they put me in a room and did all the doctors
stuff. Well long story shorter than what it is now I lost
the baby. I had already been crying and this made it even
worse. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, i had done
everything I was suppose to and now this. I wasnt doing
anyhting I wasn't suppose to. I thought everything was
great but it is okay. I am not Going to look at this as a
bad thing and I should know by now that it is not my fault.
This has happened for a reason. Yes that reason I am not
quite sure of yet but it has.
So needless to say I have been on bed rest since tuesday
and was getting really mad because I hate not being able to
do anything. But that is just me. I went out on saturday
night and thought I was going to die because I was still
sore. I played some pool and bowled and DDR(Dance dance
revolution) That was enough for me for the night. I am
still sore but I have to go to school. I am not suppose to
walk up and down stairs but I have been because of school.
I am also not suppose to stand on my feet alot but I work
at a place where I am always on my feet. But I am slowly
making it. I keep telling myself everything will be okay
and that I am going to make it through this. I guess you
can say I am, I haven't been as upset as I was and I
haven't thought about it alot. But I am going to end this.

Amanda




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