All_Erased

Reconstruction
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2005-02-15 00:26:27 (UTC)

What is right?

I realized today that sometimes what is right is wrong.
What is wrong, is right after all. It may seem that those
who do nothing more but make the lives of others miserable
deserve nothing but a cruel life in return for their
cruelty. However, it doesn't work out that way. How is it
that the meanest of people can sometimes be the ones with
more friends, with the greatest of luck when they obviously
don't deserve it. Fate works in mysterious ways. Even if it
seems out of proportion, there is no point in arguing. It
ain't fair, but maybe there's another reason or something
worse coming for them. Who knows really, and who is to
judge and wrong these people if we do not hold the infinite
truth but only stand and watch? And sometimes we act, but
we can't be true judges ourselves. Truth isn't always clear
even if it seems so.

Then, what about those that don't deserve second chances,
and yet they constantly get lied to that they are always
forgiven. Say, I used to have a friend whom I have lost
respect for. Constantly she kept hurting our friendship,
and me. I forgave her, but I decided never to give her a
second chance as a friend. Yet, she believes that I'll give
her that chance. Today, she gave me a valentine and I
realized that I respected her for trying and for being
kind. I still feel bitter towards her, but I respect her
for that. I decided that if I were to let her know, about
our friendship, I should but I wouldn't want to make her
feel like I cheated her of patience and hope. I will never
tell her, I finally decided today, because I'm not ready
and maybe I will never be. Then, I feel that she knows. I
always felt that the right thing would be that she would
face her own mistakes but experience them in the way that I
have. She still hasn't changed, and thus I am not willing
to be her friend again. But then, maybe that is not for me
to decide so I will simply live my life and she can live
hers. I wish her luck.

What is sadness? And from where and what does it originate
and grow? What plants the seed? What waters it? Who cares
for it? Why sadness? I've always been told that I look sad,
but I wish to know why, or why it is so? I'm starting to
consider a deeper meaning for this. I am not sad at times,
and yet I still get this. Not always, but mainly a lot.
Why? I wish to find my happiness.


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