Thoughts Misunderstood
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2005-02-14 23:18:05 (UTC)

the death of the hero

i'm eighteen, a senior in high school, and live in orange
park, just on the outskirts of jacksonville, florida. that
really is all the facts i believe necessary.

this journal will be mostly on my personal thoughts and
ideas. to begin then, i ought to lay out a few thoughts i
have on people.

mainly, i think who we are by our late teenage years, is who
we are going to be for the rest of our lives. i don't think
many of us grow past who we are now. "growing up" is done.
i used to look up to so many people who were older than me.
i thought, they MUST know the answers right? there was
some enlightenment they must have that i would never reach.
then in the past year or so, i began to realize, the adults
i used to think were so knowledgable, were in actuality
little more than the people my own age. i really looked at
them, really looked at the people around me. these adults
had the same basic emotions i had, fear, anger, love, hate,
trust, pride, etc, etc. we puff ourselves up like animals
to make others think us big, strong, and fearless, but deep
down inside we grasp to cling onto anything secure.
anything that will make sense. adults i began to see all
around me, were as obssessed with drama as many of the kids
i knew. i mean just take a look at reality shows to see a
more obvious truth in this. people of all ages have these
insecurites; we all believe that it's us against the world.
in the end, we find ourselves bitterly alone.

the teachers i once admired, i found myself wondering why i
thought of them so highly. musicians and public figures i
had thought were so suave, sophisticated, and knowing, had
lied to me of their invincibility. older kids who i had
before looked up to, i wondered why? characters of
literature were disected and studied for all their
imperfections. turned on the history channel, historical
figures of once great proportions, were sized down and
compared to my friends and enemies.

where have all the heros gone?

are we all just this mass of emotions? sure, some of us are
more book learned then others. can think more rationally
then some. but underneath that superficial web of words, we
really are all the same ball of chaos.

there are no heros. just you and i.

♥ Cherri

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