Horrible life
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2005-02-14 06:10:13 (UTC)

My first entry


I've never really used an online diary thing before. But
my friend said that this might help. I haven't even really
started to write about my problems and i already feel a
little better. K, well I'm gonna get right to the point
and I'm just gonna start writing my problems. So here it

4 years ago I was really happy but then all of my life
changed at summer time in the year 2001 or 2002. I cant
really remember. But anyways that was the year that I
moved from Utah to Washington. I moved to go live with my
grandma for a little bit with my 2 sisters Becky and
Rachel and my mom Cindy. But my dad stayed in Utah so that
he could pay off some of the bills down there and also
sell the house all the way. I always believed that he
would be coming up just in a matter of time, but about a 6
months passed and my dad had not yet come up.

Then finally just a little bit later my mother took just
me in the car and said that she had asked my dad for a
divorce. I cried and cried. I was only 9 years old and my
mother and father that I had loved had decided to divorce.
A while later I had to start a new school. Everybody
looked at me like I was weird and everyone always made fun
of me. I hated it. Halfway into the year my mom and us
kids moved out of my mom's grandma's and we moved into an
apartment. Everybody made fun of me for that too. I hated
it. But then in the end of the school year we moved in to
this really cute small house. I loved it. And something
that was also good news to me was that I would be going to
a new school. My new school was called Woodland's
Elementary. My first few days there were a little scary
but then after a while everybody started to talk to me and
I actually started to belong. I got a whole bunch of
friends and practically the whole 5th grade liked me. And
another good thing about that school was a boy named
Emmanuel. I swear that I loved him at first sight. That
sounds shallow but just by looking at him I could tell
that he had a good atitude and he was really cute. I liked
him the whole year and he liked me back but he never told
me and I never told him so we both never knew that we
liked eachother. What also happened in the end of that
year was that my mom got a new boyfriend. The divorce
wasn't even final yet and my mom had already gotten a
boyfriend. He was always mean to me and he always glared.
I hated him. But my mom didn't really cared what I
thought. She still went out with him even though I hated
him and so did one of my sisters Rachel. But my mom still
didn't care. My mother and her boyfriend went out for the
ending of my 5th grade year and all through my 6th grade
year. Then in the summer after 6th grade I went to go with
my dad for the summer. And during the summer without
telling me my mom moved in with her boyfriend who lived
about 30min away from the little house that I loved. My
mom only told me that she had moved in with Tony about a
week before I had to go back to live with her. I hated
her....The only good thing about that was that my mom said
that I could still go to the Jr High that I was planning
on going to because that was where all my friends were. My
mom would drive me to Fairview Jr. High every morning just
so that I would be happy. But I still hated it and I
always felt weird at Tony's and I hated it. So finally
after putting up with it for a few months I decided to go
back to Utah to live with my dad. But what I didn't know
was that he had gotten a girlfriend and he had moved in
with her. I told my mom that I wanted to go back to live
with my dad and she said fine. She signed me out of my
school, got me airplane reservations, and then sent me
down there. I only knew that my dad had moved in with his
girlfriend about 2 days before I was going to go live with
him. I cried and I cried because I was always a daddy's
girl and he had always told me everything but he never
told me that he had moved in with his girlfriend. But it
was to late to say that I wanted to stay with my mom
because there were already airplane reservations and they
were non refundable. I had to go....When I got back to
Utah I figured out that my dad's girlfriend lived about
20min away from where my dad had used to live. I only
asked him if I could go to a school in the place where we
had used to live and he said yes. But then a few people
talked to him and talked him out of it. So then I had to
go to a school where I didn't know anybody except for my
dad's girlfriend's daughter. Si had to go to a school
where I didn't know anybody. I hated it. i hated my mom I
hated my dad I hated the school that I was going to. I
hated everything so bad that I started to skip school. I
had used to be a student who got A's and B's and now I was
a flunky. I didn't really care though. But then my dad
found out that I was skiping and he said that I could go
to a school where we had used to live. I was happy. I wen
to school every day and I was starting to get A's and B's
again. But I still hated it because my dad still lived
with his girlfriend who I hated and I hated her daughter
who like followed me and said that she hated the school
too so she had to go to the school that I had to go to.
But she used her sister's address and the school found out
that it wasn't where she realyy lived adnd she got kicked
out of the school and that made me happy. But I still
hated where my dad lived and I hated the people that we
lived with. But like my mom my dad didn't care. He started
to act just like my mom. Then about a month later my
sister and I got into my dad's girlfriend's e-mail adn
found out that she was cheating on my dad. In the e-mails
she was making fun of my dad, my sister, and I. My dad
confronted her and she denied it all. She said that it was
just a game and that she was just kidding. MY DAD BELIEVED
HER. my dad said that he believed her and that she would
never cheat on him. But in the e-mails ir gave dates and
times of when she had cheated and they were all accurate
dates and times. But my dad still believed that it was
just a game and a joke. I'm still here in Utah and I'm
still trying to conivince my dad that she's cheating but
he doesn't ever wanna listen to me and I think that he's
gonna ask her to marry him. I've been talking to my mom
and I keep telling her that I wanna come back now even
though Tony asked my mom to marry him and they're getting
married this summer. I dont care i just have to get out of
here. I live in the getto,literally. There are gangs where
i live and there are shootings around here. Everything bad
that you could name happens here and I just wanna get out
of here and I just wanna go back to Washington even though
I'm unhappy there too. Well i'm getting bad grades at the
school that I'm going to because I'm starting not to care
agin because of all the stress. And I know that I could
get good grades in Wasington. And I have a cat down here
taht I wanna get out of here. But I dont know when I'll be
able to. And ina few days my dad is going to be going to
Las Vegas for a few days where I think that he's gonna ask
his girlfriend to marry him. But I dont wanna be down here
for that so I've been talking to my mom for a long time
asking if I can come back but I dont think that she'll let
me. K well gotta go bye

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