Simply Me

Few Words Left Unheard
2005-02-14 02:24:36 (UTC)

A Start From Somewhere.

This is my new start from somewhere. I have been parted
from writing for about, several months now, and today I
finally realized that I need a place to exhale. So here I
am.

Each day at school seems almost wasted, if not, blank. I
am still striving for my best, and excellence that my
parents and fellow friends have put upon me. I am used to
that, so no big deal. The problem is, I am feel more and
more withdrawn each day. Ever since my ex-boyfriend broke
up with me, I have been feeling better about myself, and
absolutely free. I don't regret the relationship, nor am I
upset anymore. A part of life is learning how to pick up
the pieces and create a new form art with it. That's
exactly what I'm trying to grasp. I am currently still
single, and most of the times I enjoy it. I admit, there
are times like now, Valentine's Day, I feel a bit out of
place, and a bit alone, but then I realize that I
shouldn't feel the need to have a man with me to be
fulfilled.

I remember being very upset with myself and with my ex-
boyfriend when he broke up with me, but as I look back now
I cannot believe how silly I was. I guess everybody goes
through that after a long relationship. I believe Brandon
is better off with Cadie, and I also believe that she is
more suited for him. Mind me, I am not trying to degrade
Brandon or Cadie, I am just stating what I believe. I
still see Cadie every day, and I still get a little antsy
because it reminds me how gullible and naive I was back in
the days. People say that love is blind, and it's true, I
was not seeing, or want to see, what was right in front of
me.

Jordan and I have been good friends for four years now. He
has asked me out numerous times, and my answer was always
no. Throughout the years, he has seen me bounce from
Jeremiah to Tyson, and then from Tyson to Brandon. He has
helped me in so many ways that sometimes I wonder why he
does not have a girlfriend who deserves him. He is
absolutely caring, and delightful to have around. I think
I have feelings for Jordan, more than a friend, but I am
not allowing myeslf to fall into another relationship. I
just like having fun teasing him and hanging out with him.

As for colleges go, nothing besides the two acceptance
that I received. I am still counting on Berkeley or LA,
but I have my doubts. I applied through the ELC program,
which supposely will definitely boost your chances of
being accepted. We'll see soon enough.

Let's end tonight with a good song by Guns N Roses,
Novmeber Rain.

"Everybody needs sometime on their own, we all need some
times all alone. I know it's hard to keep an open heart.
But never mind the darkness, we'll still find a
way. 'Cause nothing lasts forever, even cold November
Rain."


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