The Apple

Fresh Words
Ad 2:
2005-02-14 01:45:56 (UTC)

2.12.05 Who Knows?

It has occured to me, Alix Coupet, that even with
what I thought was the humility of recent entries, some
people may still find that I haven't the capability to be
Two Words:

I do. Not that I don't understand how someone
could get that perspective from me. I am very cocky, and I
do think highly of myself. And yes, I can think of many
instances in which this has gotten in the way of my ability
to learn. lol I can even remember getting angry in Sherod's
basement when he tried to teach me pool. I do have problems
with the required humility to learn things because
sometimes I dont respect the amount of time and effort that
has gone into things as much as I should.
But to even admit that takes humility. And I
just admitted it. Yes, it must be difficult for people to
teach me, because I can be so cynical when I have little
respect for someone or something. And that does have some
bearing on my humility, of course. The average person is
probably a lot more humble than I am. But, as I learned
from Dana, every person has the capability to be humble.
Yes, mine may be a bit more faint than other peoples'. Yes,
I only get good grades when I respect the instructor of my
classes. yes, I know this will cause me trouble in the
future, but does it mean that I think I'm perfect?


I do, however, think highly of myself, and sometimes I feel
that, when people are trying to teach me things, I could do
a better job of learning what they have learned and
teaching what they are trying to teach. and YES! I think
it's a problem. For me to admit that it is a problem
requires humility.
And again, I can understand how someone who doesn't
know me well might get the impression that I cannot be
humble, that I think I am perfect (which is essentially the
equivalent of lacking humility), but not for someone who
has known me for a long time. When I suck at something, I
admit it. If there is anyone who thinks I cannot be humble,
call Dan Saulsberry and ask him about a phone conversation
we had at the end of sophomore year when I saw my grades
and GPA.
I could hardly call myself a Christian if I lacked the
ability to be humble. Growing in Christ requires, if
anything, humility.
Again, though, I could be wrong, and I'm not just
saying that, I very well could be. Maybe I AM completely
unhumble, I just don't see how. I am more than willing to
look at things from multiple perspectives, as I and all
those around me consider the Alix they know to be extremely
liberal. So I'm more than willing to accept criticism,
particularly when I think there is some substance to it. In
every attempt I make, though, I don't see how I am at all
incapable of humility. But it's important to remember that
my friendship is offered no matter what anyone thinks of
me. I just dont want those who are close to me, or those
people in general, to assume I'm something that I am not.
Yes, I am cocky and pretentious, but I am also far far far
far far from anything deemed more than respectable, and I
understand that I am arrogant, and I am cocky, and I am
always striving to change that.