rickysol82

My River Within
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2005-02-12 15:54:44 (UTC)

Obsesion or REality?

i just heard the song obsission by frankie j, and it
reminded me of thoughts n painful thoughts that ocurred 2
nights ago. I m so confused i dotn know what to do at times
that night i felt iwoukld never be the same , that i would
be like in the past even worst all because of myheart that
possibly that of something said to me in a vague environment
online, that may not be clear but brutally said to me that i
may have lost the only beautiful thing that i ever and
probably will ever have in my entire life, my better half my
soulmate, BUt i know that maybe just maybe that i could
but right now i am closed to the idea, BUt i know it is
possble htta i could find someone else, but now its to much
to want to take. right now i am raining with emotions and
maybe even to much to let know to the one i love. BUt i am
not afriad i never am now scared to show and say what i
feel becasue it is what i am and who it is inside of me.
SHe or maybe somone toldm e that i lost my last chance and
i havent been that same the rest of that night, i laughed i
enjoyed where i was at that time, but at the end i remebered
again what happend and i turned sad and then scared and
unavoidably hate started filling my heart even tho it was
not direct to the one i love. BUt for that night i feared i
would lose myself all over again because of my sadness my
fear that i lost eveyrthing that is natural, beautiful
unique, pure, soft , gentle and all that is love n more dear
to my heart and i am jus so scared that i will never hear
form her again, BEcause if i dont i reall y reallly dontk
now if i will be the same, i need it the love, HER LOVE it
needs me to i know it, i dont know why she lied to herself
why didnt she let heerself be happy, why do people do that,
BUt she knows better i know she does, but she just wanted ot
be friends and i was willing to except that. BUt i felt at
that last moments i had no liberty or freedom with her, i
coudldnt say one word one thing without getting her upset,
and maybe it was all my fault in that case, but she knows i
was beign true to myself and for some some reason it was too
much for her. OH GOD WHERE THO IS YOUR DESTINED LOVE NOW
NOW THAT ALL THAT IS GOOD WILL THO BE LOST FROM THE LOVE OF
THEY 1 . I need it , u have no idea howmuch i love you and
now U WILL NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH I CAN LOVE u in the purest of
ways, in the physical touch, just to touch you hand, hold u
in my arms and loook into your eyes and tell u that i I LOVE
YOU now u will never TRULY SEE that in me, maybe from
someoine els e u will but u KNOW that i thatonone NO ONE
WILL EVER LOVE U LIKE I DO u know that, and really we be
both r losing, cause i couldve gave u the world just with
being byyourside and comforting u in everyway u want me to.
i would be a slave for your love, thats how much i love you
OH THE JUEW JEW PEOPLE CALL ME CAUSEOF MY NOSE hehe
funyn i mean it rymes. is juts well i jusr want u to know
that i will keep having faith and pray everyday in my mind
that one day u will retturn and talk to me , and let us be
......."FRIENDS again cause , oh god NO!!Q!!!!!!! i cant
lose my better half. every man needs a woman and i need my
soul and my heart back, plsss plzzz im begging u GOD plzz im
on my kness. i need to have u back in my life again. god for
this i will pray that u will grant me her again in my world
, in my life so i can be in peace with myself and in my
heart . i know i will be fine on my own, but ive been alone
for sooooolong, and i dont deserve it, i need love, i need
REAL LOVE thats why i need her. plz my goddess return to my
life. for it will all be better.....in the end for us.


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