Landslide

Let's see how long this lasts
2005-02-12 07:00:21 (UTC)

Not Abandoned

God is always with me. I am never alone. EVEN WHEN...
Whitney decides to stay home, my dad says they may not come
to my concert next weekend, and ... well I'm sure I dont'
have to mention other reasons... The problem is... I
understand. Why do I always understand everything? Why
can't I just be mad? I guess it's better that I
understand, but does the fact that I understand mean that
I'm going to be trampled or forgotten or well I don't know
what for the rest of my life? I understand Whit staying.
Her dad just bought this place and they're turning it in to
a B.B.Q. place. She's a daddy's girl, and this weekend
will be his first weekend that he begins fixing it up.
Most importantly though, her parents both pulled the guilt
thing on her. If there's one parent trick I can't stand
it's the guilt trip. You argue with them a while and then
they suddenly stop and say, "You know what? This is your
decision. You can decide what to do," with that "I'm going
to be disappointed if you don't do what I want voice."
GRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! that's a pet peeve if there ever was
one. In short, I more than understand because I've been
there for sure. That did mean, however, that I had that
lousy three hour drive alone, in addition to all the
questions I'm going to be facing about Jon. Blah. I
understand my parents possibly not coming to my concert.
They have never watched the Collegiate Chorale perform, and
this was going to be really special. Everyone else in the
choir has parents that live really close and they usually
come to the concerts, but mine never can cause they work on
monday mornings. (I must mention that I am so lucky as to
have some friends who usually come to support me. I'm very
grateful.) So, yes, I understand that that's a hassle. I
just wish they hadn't told me they could go in the first
place. (Quite frankly they won't get back near as late as
dad wants to say they will, but you gotta love him.) And
well... about valentine's day.... anyway. I feel like I
should feel alone, but strangly I don't. I have comfort in
knowing I am not forsaken. I cannot be so self centered to
think that I am the most important person in any of these
situations, but since I'm not, does that mean I just fall
through the cracks? I dunno. I'm okay though. I
understand. Oh! For a dollar for everytime I've said that
this week!.... still determined.

Final thought: Oh! Mickey its a pity you don't understand,
you take me by the heart when you take me by the hand.




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