daily self deceptions...
2005-02-12 01:31:42 (UTC)

The Surprise...

Ok so I don't even know where to start because I'm
searching for what.. I don't know.
Things lately with 'Dirty' had been going seemingly well.
Today he gave me a password to one of his email accounts to
check something stupid out that was in his email. Whatever.
Me being the nosey bitch i am did what a lot of others
probably would have done. I went and looked for some
interesting emails. Basically, there were none. Except one.
From his father. So clicking on it, seeing how it was an 'I
got your E~Card you sent me' kinda emails I thought "How
Cute." So, I click. I see his fathers reply... and it was
made out to 'Dirty' and his (supposed) ex fiance *A* (as
I'll refer to her as). This email was sent to him this PAST
NOVEMBER. You would think his father would know by now that
he and that girl were no longer together if that were the
God what do I do?!? I'm so confused it's unreal.
Everythings seemed so real.. could it really be a lie? How
could it be. He talks to me constantly. How would he ever
have time for her? Unless she still lives in his old state;
the same state his father lives in. A long distance
relationship maybe. And I know *A* still calls 'Dirtys'
mother. He tells me that much.
What am I not seeing?? Am I just that dumb?? Or is this
just some stupid slip up??

I don't know what to do... he'll be calling me in about an
hour and I don't know what to say.. or what not to say..
I'm at a loss....

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