jelli_beans

Janelle
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2005-02-09 23:31:50 (UTC)

smart Q's

Isn't it weird that all year round your parents tell you
not to play with fire, but on Independence Day they hand
you a package of explosives, a lighter, and say have fun?
Are tomatoes fruits or vegetables?
How come lotion is colored, but when you put it on, it
doesn't turn your skin that color?
Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of
faith?
Are there pink lemons that make pink lemonade?
Do people with one leg have to buy both shoes or can they
only buy one?
Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck?
Whats a question with no answer called?
How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?
When a store has double doors why do they only let you use
one of them?
If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in half,
would you have two crumbs or two halves of a crumb?
"What was Captian Hook's name before he had a hook for a
hand?"
Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested
because they look just like the criminal they are playing?
Do bald people get dandruff?
Why doesn't baking soda freeze?
What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than
three wishes for one of you wishes?
If you made biscuits with chocolate milk instead of
regular milk, would they taste chocolaty?
If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then
you died would someone you knew or a family member have to
pay the late fee?
Can a person with no ears wear glasses?
Do the actors in the re-enactments on Americas most
wanted, ever get arrested (because they were seen on TV
portraying the criminal)?
Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts
too?
If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would
they keep pissing or stop?
How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since
they are just deep fried potatoes?
Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a
nude beach?
Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?
Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities
it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends
it's cute?
If you swallow a burp does it turn into a fart?
Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?
Do they have burglar alarms at Christian bookstores?
Why do bullies always ask "what’s your problem" when
they're obviously not going to solve it?
Do stairs go up or down?
When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my
head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even
be funny in the first place?
Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on
calculators go up?
If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would
they have to change
their name to Knockers?
If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the
limit?
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see
them?
Can you make a candle out of your earwax?
When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just
the leftovers from the people that got there first?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to
replace it later?
Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?
Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?
"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment?
Since when are buttons cute?
Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same
time?
Are marbles made of marble?
Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom
of the cup?
If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the
way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)
Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I
think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what
comes out"?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over
there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if
its butt"?
Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come
from morons?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Can you get cornered in a round room?
Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?
If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear
on the Bible?
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space
but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?
In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is
she?
How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't
it realistically always colder than hell since hell is
supposed to be fire and brimstone?
Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the
packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey
Mouse?
Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes
taste like chocolate?
Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but
not on regular television? Don't they want the people
without cable to buy the cable?
"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters
in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the
words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as
in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even
though water is clear??
Why is it that when you get out of a swimming pool, your
urine is hotter when you use the restroom?
Can mute people burp?
What happens if you put this side up face down while
popping microwave popcorn?
Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the
piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?
How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?
If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered
silverware?
If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if
it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the
outside?
Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate
comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?
Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?
Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God
talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must
go forth before you go back?
Why doos shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind?
Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is
brown?
Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
If your sick for one week and on one of those days they
had to cancel school because of snow, do you have to make
up that day in June?
Why do dogs sniff other dog’s bottoms to say hello, why
don’t they just bark in their face or something?
Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a
gift NOT been
free?
If something "goes without saying," why do people still
say it?
You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well
what do you say to
people that work nights?


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