vhgirl2390

How did I fall in love with you.....
2005-02-09 16:48:28 (UTC)

how much longer should i wait??

Its been about a month.... and nothing really has gotten
any better....

He's in love with shannon.... and im so afraid that its
going to tear him away from me..... he carries her
scruchies in his pocket.... im a little jealous b/c he
never did anything like that for me......

He might be moving to Virginia.... Part of me wonders if
this is his way of getting me ready for that.... I hope
not... i really do want him to stay... hes all i ever
wanted... and i dont want to lose him... not yet... not
ever...

I dont think he wants me anymore... hes not the same
towards me..... he doesnt tell me he loves me so much
anymore...

He says he has to figure out his commitment issues... and
im wondering if hes even trying...

So many people are telling me so many different things....
i dont know what to do.. i dont know whos telling me the
truth anymore... i dont know whos trying to hurt me and
whos trying to help me.....

I dont even know if i can trust matt anymore..... and i
hate it....

Ya know..... last night i had a dream when he just sat down
with me and poured everything out to me.... told me
everything... about how he feels about everything... he
told he if were getting better..... and he told me how much
longer i was going to have to wait.....


But that was only a dream.... he doesnt want to open up to
me... ive been trying for a long time to get him to... and
it will probably never happen.... and it hurts.... so much
hurts right now......... i dont ever know where to begin...

.....how much longer should i wait........


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